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Open Poetry #31
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A Villanelle
| Open Poetry #31 |
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A Villanelle |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
A Villanelle She wrote as though her world were caving in, this poet-girl I met last Sunday week, as though the only choice was how to spin. I wonder sometimes, as I chew my pen, why poets seem to fall from higher peaks. She wrote as though her world were caving. In a way it was, but shed your 'tragic' skin and learn to give your mouth an upward tweak, as though the only choice was how to spin, and you can see beginnings in an end. You'll find a heart that's worth the trip to seek. She wrote. As though her world were caving in, as though her voice were lost in some great din, as though she whispered 'love', too scared to speak, as though the only choice was how to spin, I found her thinking, 'there's no way to win.' In black and white, I read a tear-smeared cheek-- she wrote as though her world were caving in, as though the only choice was how to spin. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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| © Copyright 2004 Nancy Wilcox - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Outstanding! poignant piece, nicely written villanelle! I've never tried this form yet, it must take a lot of patience to work it out so it makes sense. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
WOW, youve got me wanting to try this! awesome write  |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Midnitesun, sometimes it gives me a headache, trying to write it so it's not just repetition, so it makes sense, and so it says something worth hearing. I don't often succeed. Try it, please. muted, absolutely, give this form a try. The way you write, with all the images you use, is perfect for the villanelle. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Not only is this a perfectly formed Villanelle but the message is alive and vivid. Wonderful! Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Thanks, Keth, I appreciate the kind words. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I give this villanelle a "B" ~ for bravo! ~ & bravery!  ~ and an "A" for execution and content!!! Warm hugs, EA |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nan~ EXCELLENT ...  (Tee-Hee ... for a 'moment-in-time' I thought it was the Villa at New Poet Richy ... but (and FORGIVE ME MARSHA GIRLIE) that was a Villahell, wasn't it ?  I did a Villie once ... but after my stock in Excedrin rose ... I tipped Martha off to it ... and it plunged ! I maketh NOT light of your beauty ... this is really VillaVilla-GOOD ! Come on back ... we've got another ocean to see !! *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Talent plus! What a fantastic poem! Grover. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
something I could not even attempt on a good day welldone! |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
EA, thanks for the passing marks! Marge, I loved my time at the villa-and would happily come back at any time. The company was perfect, and Florida was totally unexpected. Grover, thank you so much. This isn't the best villanelle I've ever done, but I wanted to do one, and this is what came out. I disclaim all responsibility! Shadows, of course you could-and you'd do a good poem too. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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