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Open Poetry #31
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tendril tongues
| Open Poetry #31 |
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tendril tongues |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
when pangs of pain unfurl their tendril tongues of still-set harm when depths of darkened dread defers its lace-tied ivy arm the cold-blown embers soft of nature’s tread do surely light a stillness deepened by desire and strengthened by delight lo, were the realm of longing mine, and I the king who ruled by good ‘twould be decreed through all the land that evil’s soul be shed and those who flogged with words their fellow citizenry should be brought low with ashen heart and bended knee and there in deep contrition find a grain of vast forgiveness true with soul’s strength in craving kind, a stain of self-less hope to view |
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| © Copyright 2004 Steaven R Snow - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Nice flow to this piece. Strong choice of words...a bit defiant with a clear voice. Great write. TD |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"and those who flogged with words their fellow citizenry should be brought low with ashen heart and bended knee" I'll vote for that amendment. |
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IndigoEve Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279Etched in the illusion of time |
Simply said, I'm keeping this.  If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
ThisDiamond, thanks for reading and commenting...as for the defiant tone...this was one where I just let the words take me...had nothing in mind when I started and nothing in mind when I finished...sounds sort of mindless, doesn't it? oh, well... Midnitesun, good ideaIndigoEve...thank you very kindly...I am honored |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Steaven~ 'lo, were the realm of longing mine, and I the king who ruled by good ‘twould be decreed through all the land that evil’s soul be shed and those who flogged with words their fellow citizenry should be brought low with ashen heart and bended knee' You would have no idea JUST how much this one means to me ... and I thank you~ I'll be sharing it with a friend ... or two~ Strong write of wisdom~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
beautiful prose, like a soft breeze floating across the ocean at twilight, streaching out her orange glob across the sky, with embracing thoughts to ponder, and own. Wonderul |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Steven...this may have just evolved... but not without prior pondering... it's too deeply rooted in heart thought to have been only a whim. Well done, Sir. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Well done. "sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.." |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I was pulled in by the choice of the title and am glad I was ... nicely written, this work... regards sudhir |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Silky...James |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Marge, I am so glad it spoke to you and so very honored that you plan on sharing it…the highest compliment indeed LeeJ…thou dost wax eloquent in thy praise…and I am humbly grateful Sunshine, I confess that if the prior notions or thoughts were there, they lay deeper than the Mariana Trench of my conscious mind…but I will gladly take credit if it makes me look better…need all the help there I can get Susan…thank you kindly Sudhir…I, too, let titles of others’ works captivate me…glad you liked it James…interesting you used the word silky…for that is one of my nicknames…silk (because I am so smooth) …true , but I didn’t give it to myself |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
and there in deep contrition find a grain of vast forgiveness true with soul’s strength in craving kind, a stain of self-less hope to view ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Loved this for so many reasons, if you only knew. Outstanding work, poet Sir~ |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this is incredible...I'm envious |
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