navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #31 » just a miss you
Open Poetry #31
Post A Reply Post New Topic just a miss you Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
smalls
Member
since 2002-12-20
Posts 62


0 posted 2004-03-02 04:55 PM


Last night I sat looking into her eyes
Imagining being as close as possible.
The brush of her hairline tickling my nose
The wishful kiss so soft
And her perfume giving me goose bumps.
A reflection of smile
In the glitter of her eyes
As I remained distant.
Because all the while my thoughts
They were not reserved for that face.
I had felt it but I knew it wasn’t real.
In the spontaneity of our rendezvous
It was just this...
She was the girl I was looking at
But she wasn’t the girl I missed.

Please check out my poetry online
www.soakgame.net/mrlawrencesmalls

© Copyright 2004 smalls - All Rights Reserved
Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
1 posted 2004-03-02 05:04 PM


Went back read through again after the last two bold lines.  Very powerful, yet sadly beautiful.  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2004-03-02 08:44 PM


Lawrence~
I enjoyed the read ... and even more
enjoyed the visit to your web pages~

Talented you are ..... I just know your parents are proud of you~
What joyful family photos you shared~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
3 posted 2004-03-02 08:50 PM


very well written poetry - with a haunting sadness to it - Paul
smalls
Member
since 2002-12-20
Posts 62

4 posted 2004-03-02 09:25 PM


thank you for all your kind words... just curious if i conveyed my thoughts well on this one... i could now see how it could be interpreted as if i am talking to the same girl, but her mood isn't what i remembered.

but i really wanted it to read as if i am actually talking to one girl, but all i can think about is a relationship of recent... sad but true...

Please check out my poetry online www.soakgame.net/mrlawrencesmalls

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #31 » just a miss you

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary