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Open Poetry #31
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2004-03-01 10:31 PM


I suppose you needed me
crying
"keep me all together"

Did you hear me
beg reprieve?
"nothing same
can last forever"?

True--I've been
a constancy
a circle
just beyond your reach

talk-talk
wasted
talk-talk
grieve
talk-talk
clinging
to my knees
wrap your arms around me please--
just not there, just let me breathe...

rudderless
oh how profound
death can be without a sound
weighted by the both of us

talk, talk dammit--

talk-talk drown...

© Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
1 posted 2004-03-01 10:45 PM


very nice piece karen

made me think how terrible it is when there is nothing left to talk about  ( except there being nothing to talk about)

makes you miss those really nice silences two people can share

Peace,

J

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2004-03-01 10:48 PM


"rudderless
oh how profound
death can be without a sound
weighted by the both of us

talk, talk dammit--

talk-talk drown..."

I have "gasped" this very thing.  Oddly, was thinking of it earlier.  As always K, amazing.


Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2004-03-01 11:14 PM


I knew this kind of lonliness
but I didn't feel it long.
For grieving the living is harder,
Than grieving those who are gone.

Mighty profound Lady, and sometimes when they finally talk - really is it worth listening to?  This should be a plaque

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-03-02 02:00 AM


Serenity -- I really, really liked this one!  Especially:

"rudderless
oh how profound
death can be without a sound
weighted by the both of us

talk, talk dammit--

talk-talk drown..."

The sense of rhythm it took added to the frustration expressed!

..........jo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-03-02 02:26 AM


intense!
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2004-03-02 12:17 PM


um... ya know I like it...


wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
7 posted 2004-03-02 05:55 PM


Umm, ya know I like it too!
Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
8 posted 2004-03-02 08:56 PM


ya I like it too - it just wrapped me up and spun my head and steeped me in the emotions of it - loved it Karen - Paul
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2004-03-03 06:10 PM


Very intense indeed Karen, having been there not to long ago myself.

Gorgeous

Mxx

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2004-03-03 06:33 PM


Me too!  
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
11 posted 2004-03-03 07:44 PM


serenity,
Calm amid the chaos. No pretentions of understanding. No advice. You have everything you need.
Doc

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2004-03-03 07:50 PM


Thanks.

With hugs to Doc.

"wild women don't worry--wild women don't get da blues..."

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

13 posted 2004-03-03 10:30 PM


"wrap your arms around me please--
just not there, just let me breathe..."

Had to laugh at this, knowing this suffocating feeling-It must be terribly difficult to please someone who wants to be wrapped, but wants to breathe... Where does one find the perfect median?)

I love your writings.  Sometimes they baffle me, but they're intriquing and thought provoking.
CTS, thank you for your hospital campout comment-it made me smile.
                          Sadie
                

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