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Open Poetry #31
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ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2004-03-01 06:40 PM


I watched it approach
Its timing, faithful;
From the west, slink down
The slope, over trees
And the bowl-rim  
Of the lake, jumping dead cattails;
Where yellow-perch spawn
And red-wings, sing songs,
Of tree-til-dee, in April
*
The something that is,
But not physical,
(Nor mental) creeps
Across the ice
On soft, cat feet.
Quiet in approach
It spreads like water stain,
Inching across the glare;
Changing the atmosphere.
*
This thing, not there
Yet phenomenal, changes
Colors (all) to shades of gray,
As it approaches;
Then paints them black.
Silently, it moves my way,
Comes close with thought
That I am unaware
Of what its augury brings;
But I can feel its cold breath
On my back.


© Copyright 2004 ford hume - All Rights Reserved
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
1 posted 2004-03-01 06:45 PM


note:
This poem was arranged in my mind while icefishing last evening (made mental notes as the sun went down behind the mountain...)
_______ice
  ><>

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-03-01 06:56 PM



Good notes.
Good lines...

get fish?

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
3 posted 2004-03-01 07:52 PM


Some terrific contrasts, images here! Grover.
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2004-03-01 08:11 PM


Sunshine,
Thanks for reading and commenting...and yes, I did catch some fish, a few of those big yellow perch that spawn in the cattails in April...

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2004-03-01 08:12 PM


Grover
Thanks for your reply, The images are what I saw, I give nature all the credit...
_______ice
  ><>

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2004-03-01 09:17 PM


The something that is,
But not physical,
(Nor mental) creeps
Across the ice
On soft, cat feet.
Quiet in approach
It spreads like water stain,
Inching across the glare;
Changing the atmosphere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am loving your inspire ice,
and am so glad you took the time to
make mental notes.
Pretty nice and picturesque.
Thanks for sharing this snapshot!

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
7 posted 2004-03-01 10:14 PM


premonitions and inklings
words unspoken
thoughts not thought
silences not heard
just there

froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
8 posted 2004-03-02 01:08 AM


Good-Morning Ford,
     I love this.
   :-)

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2004-03-02 01:34 AM


Yes, Ice -- you have it!  Enjoyed!   ....jo
muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
10 posted 2004-03-02 03:11 AM


a very well written "painting"
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2004-03-02 05:01 AM


kinda creepy, but beautiful too
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

12 posted 2004-03-02 02:40 PM


how beautifully written and felt...extraordinary covenant with nature.  Outstanding write.
Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2004-03-02 03:11 PM


Ice~
Oh my ... I think I've been there~
Beautifully rendered~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
14 posted 2004-03-02 03:38 PM




(big angel hugs) Yay! As so suits your wonderful name and calm, loving spirit, sweet friend, I've never went icefishing but I've went fishing with my grandpa and so I know it must be so comforting! (smiles) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ford, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

P.S: Here's something I know you'll like, my revolutionary friend!
/pip/Forum88/HTML/001826.html

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
15 posted 2004-03-02 11:00 PM


Bluesy
That is my favorite stanza in the poem, one of the few that I did not have to rewrite over and over, thanks for your reply...
*
Inky
Exactly, what you said was perfect, a poem in its self...
Thanks for reading...
*
froggy
Thank you, glad you love it...
*
iliana
Thank you, I hope the "it" I have is a good it....lol
*
muted
"painting" is a nice word.....thanks for reading
*
Dixie/shadows
Part of the thrill of being outdoors is that it is "creepy"
I guess that's why I never tire of being there...Thanks for reading and the reply
*
LeeJ
"covenant" another beautiful and fitting word...thank you for the nice comments.
*
Marge T
If you have been there you know the feeling, and the tranquility that it renders...thank you for the reply
*
Noah
*
Thanks for reading and the reply, I will look at the website..

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