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Open Poetry #31
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taking stock
| Open Poetry #31 |
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taking stock |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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I find myself seething, Beaming daggers of resentment At the boisterous occupants Of the nearby table Unsure of what hurts most - Their exceptionally loud volume Or that they remember how to laugh? My ears are just fine And I’m shamed by the thought That no one should smile if I can’t. I think myself into corners Then paint walls of worry Into existence That further crush and confine Until windowless shaft of stifle Is all that keeps me upright As trembling limbs threaten Crumble, collapse. A chilling wind seeps in Through unseen cracks But warmth is only memory And the shivers won’t stop. There’s a folk musician In the Quarter weekend nights Encouraging audience participation Four hand claps at the end of a line Then three two one Followed by his almost famous half-clap No more than wave of hand in air I should go there, but I’d need to remember how to breathe To mean even that much. |
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| © Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks for this reminder, Ruth. I've been taking myself much too seriously these days.  I think we need to get together and have a beignet fight and rinse off in the fountain at Cafe' Dumonde. chuckle--I haven't done that in over twenty years. Enjoyed this introspection much lady.  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Enjoyed this..and you know, it really does hurt when someone at the next table is laughing, smiling and having fun and you feel sad and alone.. Yes, I know this feeling..well said suthern. Hugs~
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
suthern Your writing ability is excellent, enjoyed. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
One of your many strengths as a writer, is your humaness! Your readers so often identify with your words because ~ "They've been there! Done that!" Belle ~ yer beautiful!  Love & Light, EA |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Very good write! Grover. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Understanding this place, suthern girl. Such a well written scene!  |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I feel this one. You write with a dexterity I envy sometimes. Then I remember it's a deadly sin, and I smile at myself. Well done. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
excellent. the metaphorical images were right-on. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
serenity: That sounds like a wonderful idea... as long as I can eat some of those beignets before covering you with white! LOL Thank you so much! *S* Enchantress: Yes... it does. *S* Thank you so much for understanding. *S* Seymour: You are so kind to me, my friend... I thank you! *S* EA: Nope... not me. *G* I'm just the ole hound on the back steps watching life pass by. *S* Thank you so much, my friend... I sure did miss you and your unwavering support! *S* Grover: Thank you very much! *S* Martie: Thank you, kind lady... I hope those times are gone for you. *S* Pilgrimage: If it's a sin to give a smile, please point me to the sinners' conference! LOL Thank you so much... what a kind comment! *S* Christopher: Thank you very much... I appreciate you reading! *S* |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
Another very good reality write *S*....you speak it so well..you should laugh and smile..all women should be happy...you were made to be so..... Thank you for your words... Goldenrose. ''Each soul is potentialy divine..the goal is to manifest that divinity'' |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I'm going to tell my self that this is a very old poem just now seeing light of day. The fact that you write it so that I feel it, proves that your words are timeless as well as powerful.   Through the water ... through the rain ... to the soul of everything |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this aches, and I know the place it comes from I can understand. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SuthernGal~ 'I think myself into corners Then paint walls of worry Into existence That further crush and confine' I am going to tell you that you are one FINE writer ... no ducking and diving my opinion ... no *G*'s .. and no *S* (and that don't mean SMILES*) ... this is as good as it gets ! (just say, "Yes, Mam !")  Love you~ *Huglets* ~*Me ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big angel hugs) God Bless You, dearest friend, shouldn't we all get to sing and laugh together? (sigh) Not one single person should be left out of the true celebration, I hope for what you're looking for to come to you soon, keep the faith, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Suthern, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Goldenrose: How great that would be! *S* But I think someone else got my share of that happiness/laugh/smile stuff. *S* Thank you very much for your kind reply! *S* JM: I have you talking to yourself now? *G* Save that throat, lady! *S* Thank you so very much. *S* PS: It doesn't get any better on return trips. *S* Thank you so much! *S* Marge: You know how wordy I am and you expect me to merely agree? LOL Thank you, my friend... so much. *S* M'toe: I hope so, too, kind sir... so much. *S* Thank you! *S* |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
A place I have been. You tell it well but I'm sorry you've dined there too. Better breakfast at IHOP with someone you love than Kobe steak in isolation.... All the same I'm glad I slipped in for a moment and saw this. It's lonesome outside. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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dingusjr Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415Missouri |
Yes...something you don't want to be there.. but your time will come! NICELY DONE! |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
you paint this darkness with a knowing pen, my friend...and so many of us here read it with knowing eyes...that's how we all know how incredible this is.....*applauding* |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Very well done gal.....something everyone can relate to |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ratleader: The feeling's mutual, my friend... for I wish you didn't know of such establishments, either. *S* Thank you so much! *S* dingusjr: I sure hope so! *S* Thank you so much! *S* jellybeans: I'd rather a different palette... as I know you would. *S* Thank you so much, dear lady. *S* Toerag: Thank you, my friend... I appreciate a well done from you so much! *S* |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Suthern beloved one, sometimes I wonder at how someone who has your ability can doubt that she can write. But then I remember exactly who you are, and understand that you simply don’t see how outstandingly special you are. That you write well, is well known of course, but when you write something that captures the feeling within a soul I’m always awed beyond measure. Is this great you bet it is, does it deserve to be seen and read more, definitely and that said I’m sending it back to the top. and forever Mushy    Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Followed by his almost famous half-clap No more than wave of hand in air I should go there, but ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hear you suthern gal~ Absolutely wonderful and fill with such heart felt expression! Hugs sweetness~ |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Oh, Ruthie, this was so expressive of the frame of mind I had some years back. Your writing is very, very good and you really capture a moment well. Hope things improve. Hang in there, darlin'. ..jo |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Marsha: Thank you, dear lady... you always encourage me and I appreciate that! *S* Blues: Thank you so much, my friend. *S* iliana: Thank you very much... and I do, too! *S* |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
dear friend, there are some wonderful lines and some great images here and the content is immensely enjoyable... so glad I could read this one today... and I should say, me too... yes, me too regards sudhir |
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