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Open Poetry #31
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suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana

0 posted 2004-02-23 04:07 PM


As first searing breath
Enters lungs
Accustomed to water
As sea creature
Crawls onto shore
I am becoming
Something more.

As chemo stings and
Burns frail veins
Cancerous hatred
Is destroyed
So through this pain
I'm free again
To know trust.

As toddlers stumble
Stagger and fall
I am just now
Learning to crawl
But I believe
One day I will stand
Worthy, perhaps
Of clasping your hand.

© Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2004-02-23 04:16 PM


A goal we all strive for,  and so humbly
admit that we are doing just that...Nicely
said...

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-02-23 04:26 PM


As toddlers stumble
Stagger and fall
I am just now
Learning to crawl
But I believe
One day I will stand
Worthy, perhaps
Of clasping your hand.

even though we're adults we still learn and grow...which gives great meaning to our lives...even in the pain...beautifully written and expressed.  

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2004-02-23 04:34 PM


suthern

There is much strength in this!  

dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
4 posted 2004-02-23 06:51 PM


You are worthy now in my opinion "S".
Enjoyed the poem.........Larry

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

5 posted 2004-02-23 07:53 PM


I liked your metaphors very much.   I found myself reading several times in thought.  
Thank you for posting this.
                  sadelite

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2004-02-23 09:51 PM


I really liked the way you ended this,
and being worthy of the clasp!

Nice writing suthern gal~

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
7 posted 2004-02-23 10:00 PM


Not, are you worthy enough to clasp my hand, but am I worthy enough to have my hand clasped by you...

Well written, my friend.

jwesley

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
8 posted 2004-02-23 10:01 PM


suthern

You will never know how deeply your words touched me this day.  I can so relate to this.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2004-02-23 10:05 PM


Powerfully written...a strong message here.
Heart Hugs dear lady~

  ~ Whatever our souls are made of,
      his and mine are the same. ~      
            

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2004-02-23 10:56 PM


All I can say is that the sea-creatures had a much longer time to evolve than us poor humans who only have a lifetime to know complete trust...

So very good, suthern.  Very, very good!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2004-02-24 04:14 AM


I love to read you...always
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

12 posted 2004-02-24 09:47 AM


great write lady, I love the strength with which you deliver the ending
you deserve a hand to hold

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

13 posted 2004-02-24 11:33 AM


This is so powerful...and moving.

Eric

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
14 posted 2004-02-24 12:06 PM


Belle, YOU m'dear, are "evloving" into a wise and philosophical poetess supreme!

Love & Light,
EA

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2004-02-24 12:25 PM


Magnus: And if we ever forget that humility, a stumble or two will remind us. *S* Thank you very much! *S*

LeeJ: And there is pain… we’ve farther to fall and aren’t as easily appeased or distracted. *S* Thank you so much! *S*

Martie: Thank you for seeing it. *S* And thanks for the hug! *S*

dingusjr: What a kind thing to say… thank you very much! *S*

Sadelite: If I could send a response to my library, I’d send yours. *G* No one… but NO one… has ever told me they liked my metaphors! *G* Thank you very much for this exception.  *S*

Blues: There are some clasps I’ll never feel worthy of… but that won’t stop me from reaching. *S* Thank you so much! *S*

jwesley: I like that revision… even if I may never think that way! *S* Thank you so much! *S*

Suetang: I don’t think a writer can ask for more… than to touch a reader. Thank you so much! *S*

Enchantress: Hugs are definitely appreciated… thank you so much ! *S*

Sunshine: And what’s so unfair is that it can be destroyed in an instant. *S* Thank you so much! *S*

PS: I appreciate that so much, dear lady… always. *S* Thank you!!!

jellybeans: I think maybe I do. *S* And you’re one of the few that know what progress that is! LOL Thank you so much, my friend! *S*

Ericc: That’s very kind of you… thank you! *S*

EA: If I am, it’s cause I hitched a ride on your wings. *S* Thank you so much, my friend! *S*

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
16 posted 2004-02-27 01:13 AM


Such humble determination and strength here...
Takes alot to have that, seems you've already gone  quite a ways

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

17 posted 2004-02-27 04:08 AM




I enjoyed your poem Ruth

I just hope everything's okay?


Know that my thoughts are with you okay...
Hugs, Richy

muted
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since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
18 posted 2004-02-27 04:21 AM


you know, i keep falling too and bruising my knees...maybe you wouldnt mind letting me learn to walk with you

a journey is always better when shared..and so many of us here want to share with you...you are such a lovely poet...

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
19 posted 2004-02-27 04:19 PM


GG: There's still such a long way to go. *S* Thank you so very much! *S*

Richy: I appreciate you so much, my friend. *S* I'm glad you liked... thank you so much... for everything. *S*

muted: What a wonderful response. *S* I thank you so much, dear lady... and would be honored to walk... or crawl... with you. *S*


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