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Open Poetry #31
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ah...redundancy again
| Open Poetry #31 |
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ah...redundancy again |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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somewhere there just beneath the bandages I move waking dread I ever slept finding self in atrophy cursing (if I could still speak) I would damn me straight to hell. ah redunancy again I smile my lips so cracked they bleed. They mistook my laugh for pain. a mercy needle back to sleep weary is the weight of dreams knowing I must wake again... chasing butterflies with teeth biting biting biting bleed all of me has taken wing physicality--a string taut I am a fragile thing laughing middle-finger-flung gravity "I'll deal with that" just before the sucker punch-- "you can, you can land on your feet" bones in snap a mockery of applause my audience-- forgive? I've made a mess of me. "Folks, it's just part of the show." believe and you can be like me, a puddle pissed upon the ground. |
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J.Samm Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415Iloilo City, Philippines |
such strong lines....loved this part: "chasing butterflies with teeth biting biting biting bleed all of me has taken wing physicality--a string taut I am a fragile thing" |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
haven't read the rest of the poem yet... but love the title...lol |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
only cats land on their feet Love this K |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Serenity Blaze, Your imagery is so powerful, evoking remembered emotions... Your writing always provokes me into thought. Great job! Sadie |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
You have reached a new level of mature skill in this. Whether or not you know, you have cross a line. I salute you! |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big angel hugs) Oh Karen, this is such an intense write, dearest friend, why must a hubris have to echo in waves and waves when it should feel so cold and abrupt, it feels like there's no way to be redeemed! (sad sigh) This is a wonderful dramatic interpretation, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Eloquent, an elite poetess! Grover. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is an amazing piece of writing! I wish I could hear you read it though!  |
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Ravenwolfvoyager Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326 |
Wow this was certainly a differnt side of you but I am in awe by your write, it is deep and a hint of darkness and truly inspirational. Wonderfully done Serenity. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Ser..you have outdone yourself here! Love this sassy side of you. Hugs and love to you lady~ ~ Whatever our souls are made of, |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Serenity's writing tip #568: Try sleep deprivation to tap into your subconscious mind.   thanks all...ya'll are the most lucid dream I've had in awhile. gawdilovethisplace |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
an ode to our worst enemy... sweet pain Ms. Star |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Karen, this was outstanding. Talk about powerful -- wow! Such a different side of you here. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
serenity...Much emotional depth in this...and as always you are able to bring me into the heat of it with the way you so skillfully use words.  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
serenity, How you have grown. Bitterness aside. Emotion streaming. I am at a loss for words. Doc |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
serenity - you write deeply here and touch deep spots in me as I read - this is great poetry - Paul |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
you're a sly one missy very cool |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
"They mistook my laugh for pain. a mercy needle back to sleep" again . . . ain't that the pits haahaahaa it's good you go some places for the rest of us, k |
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