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Open Poetry #31
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Friday Night in Heaven and apologies to anyone who takes offence on a wry smile at he
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Open Poetry #31
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Friday Night in Heaven and apologies to anyone who takes offence on a wry smile at he
| Open Poetry #31 |
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Friday Night in Heaven and apologies to anyone who takes offence on a wry smile at he |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
This is written about someone who dedicated themselves to such an extent that passersby, emotionally and every other way had to take on their responsibilites. People who dedicated themselves to God required me to sleep underneath a table with the dog a lot of years ago when I courted their daughter - they were Salvanists and their daughter Evangelical. They failed to educate their children about drugs, sex and understanding and above all, about tolerance and the world. Anyone would look at reality and if reality is not someone but your belief, then your belief is still human. I am sorry, as people will look at me attacking their beliefs, but compare the live's lost for saying something is wrong to those destroy in the name of someone of mercy. Dave Page *************************************************** St Peter manning the gates Where's the crew tonight Pop'd down to the village Good singer on tonight Who'se due in Couple of guys On early Just the gap until four Peter You're not getting old Standard procedure Name, (no date of birth), choice of robes What countries One from England And you expect me to man the walls on my own All they want Is a bed Some walls to write on We sell them to hell, anyway How much do we get For the English The walls we sell We transfer the English For a fee Well it's only once a year Go off and join the Blessed for your songs And let the Sky know the pleasure Of our voices And the pleasure They give to everyone A long interlude Eyes scanning the horizon And later Peter's eye's scan his horizon Where's the hotel mate looks like you're still building St.Peter in desparation We're closed Closed for what Peter This place is like MacDonalds Open when you want it Having a few problems Why can't we come in You're English And we arn't playing you Until November Where do we train Downstairs and to the left |
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| © Copyright 2004 Dave Page - All Rights Reserved | |||
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eminor_angel Member
since 2003-05-22
Posts 323Canada |
interesting topic, but I feel that the meaning is confused at some spots. more punctuation would probably help this. as well, I generally wouldn't recommend starting with a traditional rhymed stanza for a free-verse poem in general, but in this poem it could indicate the break-down in order of the scenes you are depicting, emphasizing its irony. I'm curious now, what was your intent? |
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J.Samm Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415Iloilo City, Philippines |
indignant...this was no easy read, though... you can trigger neurons to think and appreciate this. well you love breaking writing rules, don't you? i see nothing wrong with that.  |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Style is not my style Looking at people as human with the loves, fancies, bigotry is may be my style I wrote something that I will save and take apart and eventually I will know where I should use it I love the the site for letting me write Only when I sit at a keyboard and know someone will read my words do I smarten up Words have the passion and still half the world fails to understand they have communicated for aeons but not in the approved fashion Thanks for your comments Dave |
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Open Poetry #31
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Friday Night in Heaven and apologies to anyone who takes offence on a wry smile at he
