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Passions in Poetry

Sometimes Freedom Waits for Death (eor's challenge)

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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


0 posted 02-19-2004 11:10 AM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Susan Caldwell

I sat as close to the car door as possible.
Tears running down my 5 year old face.
Anticipating my punishment,
wanting to plead my case.

When Daddy did speak
it was with words
I would never forget.

“What you were caught doing,
little girls should not be doing,
with her cousins, you see,
if that is what you want to do
you need to come to me.”

I didn’t understand
what he meant
until later
when he came to my room
and showed me.

For years
Daddy paid me visits.
Mostly early morning
when Mommy was still asleep.

Sometimes I would cry
and beg for him to stop.
He would tell me
with tears in his eyes,
how much he loved me,
how beautiful I was going to be
and how he couldn’t help himself

Hurting me wasn’t much of a concern

When I was 13
Daddy paid his last visit
and maybe somehow he knew.
Because he tried more,
than ever before had he tried to do.
But Mommy walked in.

Mostly what I remember from that day
was the hitting
and the yelling.
Daddy doing nothing to stop her,
listening as she took it out on me.

Spitting out words of hate.
Telling me it was my fault,
and I would be made to pay.
For trying to steal her man,
for ruining her life plan.

Mom and Dad stayed together,
and I stayed until I didn’t have to.
They were more than happy to sign the papers
that set me free a year early.
Got me a suitcase for graduation.
Waved as I got on the bus.

Since that last day,
I pretend
and so do they.

22 years,
bad choices,
and beautiful children,
never allowed
alone,
with grandpa

and still
I am not
Free.

__________________________

Ron~Thanks for the help tweaking
Icy~ Thanks for the inspire.


[This message has been edited by Susan Caldwell (02-19-2004 12:59 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Laureate
since 10-09-2000
Posts 14329


1 posted 02-19-2004 11:27 AM       View Profile for Gentle Spirit   Email Gentle Spirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gentle Spirit

WOW Susan, outstanding write on such a tragedy.  This one touches closely to my heart for many reasons.   lady.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


2 posted 02-19-2004 11:38 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Susan....It took alot of courage to write this down...understanding hugs!
Ericc
Member Elite
since 01-31-2003
Posts 4261


3 posted 02-19-2004 02:07 PM       View Profile for Ericc   Email Ericc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ericc

A courageous and powerful write.

Eric
icebox
Member Elite
since 05-03-2003
Posts 4246
in the shadows


4 posted 02-19-2004 02:28 PM       View Profile for icebox   Email icebox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for icebox

This is stunning!  

Brava!


choshi
Senior Member
since 01-01-2004
Posts 1198
New York


5 posted 02-19-2004 03:27 PM       View Profile for choshi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for choshi

Beautiful in your straightforward style that does not compromise feelings one bit...I am inspired by your courage woven into careful flawless writing.....Thank you ~P
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


6 posted 02-19-2004 05:45 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

you did good...

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


7 posted 02-19-2004 05:54 PM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

Susan, this is an excellent write. Even
though it's a very hurtful subject, you
wrote it with much style and grace. You
met the challenge very well.
Hugs, my friend  
Ethel
Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 12-25-2003
Posts 332


8 posted 02-19-2004 06:55 PM       View Profile for Ravenwolfvoyager   Email Ravenwolfvoyager   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ravenwolfvoyager

Susan that was heartfelt. I know that carrying such a thing with you is a difficult thing to do. You are surrounded by friends who understand and support you.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


9 posted 02-19-2004 07:42 PM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

Thank you, to all of you that posted a reply and to those of you that emailed...

Your concern and well wishes are what make this such a warm, wonderful place.

And smile! My daughter has black and pink hair this week!!!  

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

Ivy Rose
Senior Member
since 12-29-2001
Posts 1355
MA, USA


10 posted 02-19-2004 08:37 PM       View Profile for Ivy Rose   Email Ivy Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ivy Rose

Susan....A sad and chilling tale of abuse. So frightening because it is happening more and more frequently. A brave and noble write because you chose to share the painful memories of abuse so that another child may not suffer as you have done. Bravo, Susan!!! this is a tremendously important poem that you have written with a great deal of skill. ***Ivy Rose
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


11 posted 02-19-2004 08:44 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Susan, I stand and applaud you.
A most powerful write on a difficult topic.
Extremely well done.
Heart Hugs

  ~ Whatever our souls are made of,
      his and mine are the same. ~      
            

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 12-17-2000
Posts 34089
City of Roses


12 posted 02-19-2004 08:49 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(big angel hugs) Oh Susan, my heart sends many angel hugs your way, sweet friend, no child should ever be left alone like this and know that we are all here for you to support you, God Bless You, this is such a harsh reality, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Susan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

stevebrklynnyc
Member
since 01-04-2004
Posts 295
GA, Camden


13 posted 07-16-2005 11:17 AM       View Profile for stevebrklynnyc   Email stevebrklynnyc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stevebrklynnyc

I never read this post,  but, you are stronger for it, steve.
 
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