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icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2004-02-18 06:27 PM



When I was a young girl,
I lived alone with my mother
in a broken down trailer
on the outskirts of town,
there were no other choices
after Daddy left home;
daytime Momma drank whiskey,
said she ached to the bone,
cried in the shadows,
and I was alone;
I stayed around to keep house
from the time I was nine.  

At night men came calling,
I'd hide in my bedroom
until it was daytime and they'd gone away.  
Sometimes they left money
and often more whiskey,
on a good day we'd walk into town
with Momma holding my hand,
she'd be smelling like perfume
tobacco and  whiskey
and she'd always tell me
to get what I can,
that I should always assume
I had to smile and be friendly
‘cause there's no way of knowing
what pleases a man.

When I got older
and started to showing
it was time to leave home,
knowing the way those old men looked at me;
I met you that first day
when the bus took me away
from that small-minded town,
you came up to me smiling to say I was pretty
and you showed me the best times I'd ever known;
now those memories are faded,
cracked like old pictures
left in the sunshine to curl and turn brown.

Oh Bobby where are you?
I'm so very lonely
and it seems like forever since I've been down,
when you're not around and I'm here by myself
you're always gone for so long;
the TV's still broken since the fight Christmas night,
when you stumbled home so late and annoyed,
and I said I could tell you'd been with a woman
like Momma would smell after spending a night with the men
and even the drugs you left don't make me feel right
and I just don't like it when I'm here all alone;
lately
even when you finally come home
you aren't the Bobby I'd always known.

My sweet Bobby Bear who was so good to me
and called me your Princess as sweet as could be,
I can still hear it when we're talking
inside of my head
when I'm  smelling your pillow,
when I'm alone in our bed,
and you're not even there to see,
now it seems
like we only meet
when you can be inside of me,
even then you can scare me
‘cause you're always all drunk and high
or angry about coming down,
and you scream
and you hit me whenever I cry,
and your eyes
they despise me
and make me feel lost
and worthless
and you always tell me
how much it costs to keep me around
and how I should see
that you're too good to me.

Oh Bobby sweet Bobby
oh please don't you see
I'm so alone and I don't feel good any more,
and you hurt me with bad names
as you rush out the door;
I've been good like I promised,
I swear I've been good,
won't you please please come home
I'm waiting right here...

I did what you said my sweet Bobby Bear,
I went down to the clinic
said I fell on the stairs,
I swear I didn't say a single word about you,
and I told them instead I'd been sick with the flu;
they patched me up,
gave me pills for the pain
and I did what you said,
I saved them for you;
oh please won't you come and hold me again.

Dear God bring him home,
I need him so much tonight,
I promise I'll be good
and not start a fight,
I really don't want to ‘sides I can't fight with you
you're bigger and smarter and meaner than Hell,
and you know these past months
I just don't feel well.  

I'll make you happy
my sweet Bobby Bear,
just give me a chance
I swear
I'll never ask you to take me dancing any more;
I wish I was still pretty
like when I was young
wearing hand me down Mary Jane's
and my blue pinafore.
Bobby oh Bobby
won't you walk through the door
and smile like you used to do,
I'll be so good for you Baby
just let me try,
I swear I'll be good
you'll really see I don't lie,
I'll do anything
be anything you want me to be,
anything Baby
and I swear I won't cry;
give me to your friends again
if that makes you smile,
I'll be anything you want
just stay awhile,  
‘cause I want to die
whenever you're gone.

Even when you give me
some of  the drugs that you're on,
I don't like it when I'm here alone,
please my sweet Bobby
my big Bobby Bear,
please come on home
I'll be right here,
I'll turn the lights low
so you won't even know that it's me;
I need to feel your hands
the way things used to be
before
when I was young,
before I made you break my nose,
before the scars
and you still thought I was pretty;
can't you see me?
I'm not so far away,
don't you know me?
I'm really still here
‘neath the bruises and tears.

©2004 by icebox

© Copyright 2004 icebox - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2004-02-18 06:36 PM


damn man... too real.. too close


muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
2 posted 2004-02-18 06:39 PM


wow, challenge so well met, i feel chills over me...
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2004-02-18 07:32 PM


icebox
An old story that you told very well.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2004-02-18 08:45 PM


icebox

Amazing!  Such a real and sensitive write.....Very well done!!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-02-19 02:49 AM


I knew this would hurt
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2004-02-19 08:57 AM


Just wanted you to know I was here.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

7 posted 2004-02-20 09:26 AM


had to come visit this again... not out of a desire to visit where it takes me, but out of desire to see how well it was told.
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
8 posted 2004-02-20 09:36 AM


enjoyed
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