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Open Poetry #31
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Serra_Avatar
Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 58


0 posted 2004-02-18 02:37 PM


Rose Petal Angel

There is a little lullaby I would sing for you
about a rose petal angel
and how my fondness for her grew

She is so beautiful in my mind’s eye
that now I have feelings I can no longer deny

This rose petal angel…
you know her name
look in a mirror
and you will find her just the same


I can think of no other way to describe "her". Luckly she isn't home right now so I can hold off on sending it. I keep going over and over it but it just doesn't seem good enough. What do you all think? feel free to brutaly critique it....roast it, toast it, chop it into tiny little pieces just don't make me cry...  



© Copyright 2004 Ron Joseph Rios Jr. - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-02-18 02:42 PM



Ah...leave it on her pillow...

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

2 posted 2004-02-18 04:13 PM



It's absolutely perfect Serra

Because, it came from you...





Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2004-02-18 04:22 PM


Ron~
It's just delicately perfect~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
4 posted 2004-02-18 05:52 PM


beautiful soft words....indeed leave it for her...

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-02-22 06:07 AM


Avatar, this is beautiful...you should tell her, with this poem
Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326

6 posted 2004-02-22 08:55 AM


This would go great with a bottle of wine, flowers and Vivaldi. A true success, definetly go with this!!
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