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Open Poetry #31
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-02-18 10:32 AM


She asked if I had a knife
And when handed the small
Single bladed one I carry
Begged me stand silent
Then began to cut the edges of my shadow
As it lay in front of me

Outlined
I wondered if when done
She planned to peel it off the ground
And roll it up to carry home
Perhaps to take bites from later
When she hungered for some part of me
Darker than the face I show

As she traced my thighs on sand
I felt the urge to move
Uneasy it felt
       As if being made a part
Of earth I could never leave

Her smile un-nerved
      As it grinned from a tip of tongue
Protruding from lips that drew their own lines
And a brow wrinkled
                As it were being contracted into itself

She finished
And asked to step away
My feet found new purchase on a stone
Half yard wide and two feet left of where
I in fact had begun.

“Now, you are.”
   She said

As I let eyes follow the shape of pale
She so aptly had drawn

“Without you in between the sun and ground
it lies empty.”
She said.

I nodded once in wait for more

Her feet found the marks of mine
And she tossed the knife at my feet

“Now,” she whispered
“Outline mine and see how
I can fill only a part of you”

"The rest is yours to define"

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (02-18-2004 11:05 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-02-18 10:34 AM


you have left me speechless....I will be back to enjoy..
again..and again.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2004-02-18 10:43 AM


Cpat,
One of your best and a keeper. Enjoyed.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-02-18 10:50 AM



Gads...
I'm keeping this one.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2004-02-18 10:56 AM


yep, one of your best ...
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2004-02-18 11:03 AM


As she traced my thighs on sand
I felt the urge to move
Uneasy it felt
       As if being made a part
Of earth I could never leave

===========================


As I let eyes follow the shape of pale
She so aptly had drawn

“Without you in between the sun and ground
it lies empty.”
She said.
=================
“Now,” she whispered
“Outline mine and see how
I can fill only a part of you”

"The rest is yours to define"

====================================

Holy moth moly ... ...
me thinks I just stuttered.

YES.... GADS~~~~~~~~~~

*shaking me mothy head at you*

be it metaphor, a memory, or a mix of both...
this is ... ... ...


As if being made a part
Of earth I could never leave

Without you in between the sun and ground
it lies empty.”



GADS & YOWZERS!!  

Well I cant say what I might believe ...
but if God made you ... he's in love with me.

5 for fighting

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2004-02-18 12:40 PM


Very cute write!
Love, Margherita

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-02-18 12:48 PM


incredible
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
8 posted 2004-02-18 12:52 PM


OMG !!

I am speechless and will have to come back....

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2004-02-18 12:55 PM


Ron

You are so beautifully deep...loved the whole idea of this ...and would like to have thought of it.  So original!  

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
10 posted 2004-02-18 12:57 PM


“Now,” she whispered
“Outline mine and see how
I can fill only a part of you”

"The rest is yours to define"

This explains everything!!!

My tiny shadow is always filled to overflow with the shadow of a man..and I am always struggling to free myself...

Okay, so maybe that isn't what your point is..

This was wonderful.  

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2004-02-18 03:56 PM


Without you in between the sun and ground
it lies empty.”


Indeed indeed! This is definitely a keeper.

Excellent.

Maree


Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
12 posted 2004-02-19 08:44 AM


library

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2004-02-19 11:07 AM


Oh, my! *S* Wonderful write... the ending is simply stunning! *S*
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