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Open Poetry #31
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Sadelite
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since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519


0 posted 2004-02-17 08:07 AM


Caught by the rumble strips
Awakened by their vibes,
I looked eastward at
the red-orange punctured night
torn open by enthusiastic D.J.
exercising vibrant wavelengths
admidst waking sky.



© Copyright 2004 Sadelite - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2004-02-17 08:45 AM


like this visual/scene setting.. my only suggestion would be to not perhaps repeat the word punctured...

very nice blending of the physical and the personal in your piece... I enjoyed

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

2 posted 2004-02-17 10:23 AM


Capt.,
   Good morning!  
   I agree-too much repetition.  I changed it, but still am searching for a better word.   Thanks for your valued input.
        Sadie


BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
3 posted 2004-02-17 12:27 PM


Made me think of my favorite love songs, and how they ignite past memories.

Nicely done Sadelite~  

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-02-17 12:56 PM


Sunrise and the music on the alarm clock, right?  Liked this.  
Richy
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since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

5 posted 2004-02-17 01:01 PM



A modern day jungle beat of the drums

Signalling the local gathering...


Very Nice Sadie!


Your poem resonates!




Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2004-02-17 04:27 PM


Sadie~
This one rings my bells~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-02-18 04:16 AM


I hardly ever see the sunrises, but I do see the sunsets every evening...splendid write
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
8 posted 2004-02-18 04:34 AM


If this didn't remind me of hearing the music from my alarm clock at crazy hours of the morning then I'd enjoy it much more lol!
This is good

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

9 posted 2004-02-18 05:19 AM


Thank you everyone for the comments.   Yes,
those rumble strips on the interstate and the D.J. tend to greet me pretty early.  They do sound like modern day jungle beats--Richy is right!  Thanks for reading and commenting. Have a great day.
                 ~Sadie

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2004-02-18 07:23 AM


This is quite a vision!

the red-orange punctured night
torn open by enthusiastic D.J.


Very good write!

Love, Margherita

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2004-02-19 11:02 PM




(smiles) Yay! May God's jukebox pump up the horizons with robin songs of spring serenity, yay, God Bless You, I love this, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sadelite, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Death
Member
since 2001-05-26
Posts 112
Twilight
12 posted 2004-02-19 11:32 PM


"rumble strips" indeed
the clocks alarm is set
for each as need to be
yet perforce adjustable
corporeal form demands
the sligtest bit norm

difficult to expand minimalish
yet you have accomplished such

therefore, my compliments

"Sooner or later, Death makes a believer out of just about everyone."

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

13 posted 2004-02-20 04:30 AM


Margherita,
    I'm glad you liked the poem.  It was written with a beautiful sunrise.   Thanks for reading.
                 Sadie

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