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Open Poetry #31
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muted
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since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

0 posted 2004-02-16 09:59 PM



The water lily
sinks heavy in
rounded belly
where muddied waters
stagnate.
Waiting for the movement
and dining endlessly
on lotus rice and air
till the river runs clear.
And how petals float
atop drowning roots
breaking the tension
of strong surfaces
..breaking..
a lifetime of cycles.
To plant the seed too deep
is to suspend it
between birth
and all those secret places
where im drawing parallels.
all those sacred spaces
where dying gardens grow.

© Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2004-02-16 10:13 PM


Dawn~
This is vividly rich in delicate imagery~

You are so talented sweetie~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*`

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2004-02-16 10:14 PM


Muted -- this was outstanding.  Applause, applause!
Richy
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since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

3 posted 2004-02-17 12:40 PM



This was great Dawn!

Yes, sometimes a kind of,
survival mode, can come in handy...

When the ground is parched,
and there’s no rain in sight

We just have to remember that
the skies will eventually open,
and gush forth
And the crops, once again,
will rise...


Thanks Dawn

A Romantic Heart
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since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
4 posted 2004-02-17 03:25 AM


Take a bow...miss lilly of the garden of poets...

Beautiful and rich....taste like dark creamy chocolate!

~ARH
love and hugs

Open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart, let me come in and show you love.....~ARH

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
5 posted 2004-02-17 03:59 AM


I love those ending lines!
garysgirl
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Florida, USA
6 posted 2004-02-17 06:18 AM


To plant the seed too deep
is to suspend it
between birth
and all those secret places
where im drawing parallels.
all those sacred spaces
where dying gardens grow.


Dawn, I loved all of it, but this part
just really summed it all up. Just beautiful
writing, lady.
Hugs  
Ethel

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
7 posted 2004-02-17 07:12 AM


Vivid imagery, beautiful write.... with the soft touch of mystery.
Love, Margherita

BluesSerenade
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since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
8 posted 2004-02-17 12:13 PM


Such a delicate mix of beauty and melancholy.

Fabulous writing Dawn.

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
9 posted 2004-02-17 12:21 PM


Delicate as the lily in the pond.  Wonderful Dawn.

believe in what your heart feels...

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
10 posted 2004-02-17 12:50 PM


To plant the seed too deep
is to suspend it
between birth

Some great lines in this one, but I particularly like the ones above.  This is a "keeper" for sure!  Nicely done.

Greeneyes
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since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind
11 posted 2004-02-18 06:06 PM


Wow dawn, the water runs deep....hugsssss

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

illusion
Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296

12 posted 2004-02-19 02:17 PM


You use such excellent descriptions and images. I like this very much.
Susan Caldwell
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since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
13 posted 2004-02-19 03:25 PM


"To plant the seed too deep
is to suspend it
between birth
and all those secret places
where im drawing parallels.
all those sacred spaces
where dying gardens grow."

Now that is some good writing!

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

muted
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
14 posted 2004-02-19 09:28 PM


Marge: thank you marge, to be called "talented", wow, makes me speachless.

Iliana: thank you dear lady

Richy: hi buddy...yes, eventually the skies will open...hopefully, it wont flood those crops  

ARH: mmmmm...chocolate...thank you

dixie:   thank you so much for being here

Ethel: thats my favourite part too...tnanks for the hug

Margherita: you are a joy to have around, thank you for your support

Blues:   delicate is exactly how i wanted it to come across, thank you for noticing

Scorpio: thank you  

Mysteria: thank you, a "keeper", wow, thats a wonderful thing for you to say

greeneyes: thank you for the hug, and yes, sometimes the water runs toooo deep LOl

illusion: thank you so much for visiting

Susan:   thank you so much

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