Salvation Just Before Lunch

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Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

0 posted 2004-02-15 03:51 PM

Salvation Just Before Lunch

Just a shadow wearing a fedora
I look out the top floor window...
scheming illumined souls below
buzzing bees and a rapping beat
flower-potted lamp posts
encroach a hooker's beat

I scan the entire block
merchants hose down their front walk:
they've risen
the sun people and the moon people are one--
market vendors display their goods
motorcycle riders vroom by
tattooed ladies wave hi
crack-heads and juicers recite their alibi

Across the street
Evangelist Rev. Reed
sets up his Gospel Tent

Suddenly, a noon day scent--
chili dogs and fries waft up to me
in my small make-believe belfry.

©2004 Grover Gall

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2004-02-15 03:56 PM

Hi Grover...thanks for letting me look out your window with you...loved that last line!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

2 posted 2004-02-15 04:13 PM

Grover, you did describe your view very well.
I enjoyed looking out with you too. And, I
love
the smell of chilidogs and fries.

Hugs

Ethel

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2004-02-15 05:09 PM

Nice descriptive writing...James

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

4 posted 2004-02-15 05:21 PM

Yes, I could see it all. Thank you.

S Arthur Grey
Senior Member

since 2001-03-19

Posts 719
woven by a poet's loom

5 posted 2004-02-15 05:27 PM

Enjoyed the "pic'.

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

6 posted 2004-02-15 06:01 PM

Grover, this was magnificent!

There's nothing like a good
chili dog, to get your mind
off things...

This was a treat!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2004-02-15 06:04 PM

Excellent write Grover!
You have a very good grsp on your use of imagery.
Well done.
Hugs~

  ~ Whatever our souls are made of,
      his and mine are the same. ~

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2004-02-16 11:16 AM

I liked this very much, Grover... from title through last line! *S*

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

9 posted 2004-02-16 05:58 PM

Grover -- I really enjoyed this one a lot!

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

10 posted 2004-02-16 06:10 PM

Grover,
This was a nice write, taking me out of the country into a different world. It was full of sounds, smells, feel... Enjoyed.
~Sadie~

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

11 posted 2004-02-17 08:40 AM

nicely done...
constructively... I'd offer that the wording

I scan the entire block
merchants hose down their front walk:
they've risen
the sun people and the moon people are one--

seemed to trip me up when reading.. somehow almost like an interruption to the thought as a whole... probably me.. and not the piece at all...

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

12 posted 2004-02-17 10:52 AM

Great write Grover!

Eric

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

13 posted 2004-02-17 11:50 AM

Looks like you and I are in the same mindset today Grover, thanks so much for writing and sharing. Enjoyed.

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