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Open Poetry #31
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Magnus
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0 posted 2004-02-15 12:00 PM


Where stands the messenger cloaked
in midnight hue of romp?   Ever watching
in a trek, in wait of but a breath.

Oh you, my brother and merchant, carry
lightly this soul each day.  Listen well,
don’t tarry...of this, I whispering say.

For on each eve of slumber, on each eve
of rest...I count but one a number, it
wells within one’s chest.

Your vigil born upon my birth at break
of dawn....A prince, not a pauper, a knight
and not a pawn.

I stand before the altar, where life is now
counted.   Each gasp not in falter,   a task
not surmounted.

And when my vigil ends, when life is but
a gleam,   I will then make amends for all
I’ve dreamt,
            in dreams.

Adieu my friend, until the night has
fallen, when eyes see not again.



© Copyright 2004 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2004-02-15 12:28 PM


Wow, Barry. This is awesome.

(Is this a form?)

I loved the weave of internal rhyme too. Unusual opening stanza in that it doesn't fit the ensuing rhyme pattern, but I like to do that too sometimes, and I'm still confessing my ignorance as to whether or not this is a form, because if it isn't? It sure reads like one.

Very well crafted and elegant.

Magnus
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2 posted 2004-02-15 12:32 PM


Thanx Ser.  No,  not a form,  just a
blend of what was flowing within my mind
and filling the page...sometimes I do that.

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-02-15 12:36 PM



Liking this...
very much!

Magnus
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4 posted 2004-02-15 12:38 PM


Shining One,  have I ever written something
you didn't like?  Thanx Lady....

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2004-02-15 12:39 PM


Excellent write Barry...much enjoyed!
Hugs~

  ~ Whatever our souls are made of,
      his and mine are the same. ~      
            

garysgirl
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6 posted 2004-02-15 12:43 PM


Barry, this is your reply to Karilea....

Shining One,  have I ever written something
you didn't like?  Thanx Lady....


And my reply to you.......

No, my friend, you have  NEVER  written
anything that I didn't like!! Though I may
not find the woirds to reply every time,
I do love your writing, Poet-sir...very much!!
Hugs  
Ethel

Magnus
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7 posted 2004-02-15 12:46 PM


Thanx Nance,  hope your day is going well
for you...  Keep the toes warm...

Ethel,  thank you Poet Lady,  shucks!!!!
You are a kind soul.

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
8 posted 2004-02-15 01:00 PM


how sad! outstanding piece!
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
9 posted 2004-02-15 01:08 PM


this deserves a round of applause and a dozen roses too
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