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Open Poetry #31
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When Eyes See
| Open Poetry #31 |
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When Eyes See |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA 
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Where stands the messenger cloaked in midnight hue of romp? Ever watching in a trek, in wait of but a breath. Oh you, my brother and merchant, carry lightly this soul each day. Listen well, don’t tarry...of this, I whispering say. For on each eve of slumber, on each eve of rest...I count but one a number, it wells within one’s chest. Your vigil born upon my birth at break of dawn....A prince, not a pauper, a knight and not a pawn. I stand before the altar, where life is now counted. Each gasp not in falter, a task not surmounted. And when my vigil ends, when life is but a gleam, I will then make amends for all I’ve dreamt, in dreams. Adieu my friend, until the night has fallen, when eyes see not again. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Wow, Barry. This is awesome. (Is this a form?) I loved the weave of internal rhyme too. Unusual opening stanza in that it doesn't fit the ensuing rhyme pattern, but I like to do that too sometimes, and I'm still confessing my ignorance as to whether or not this is a form, because if it isn't? It sure reads like one. Very well crafted and elegant. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Thanx Ser. No, not a form, just a blend of what was flowing within my mind and filling the page...sometimes I do that. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Liking this... very much! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Shining One, have I ever written something you didn't like? Thanx Lady.... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write Barry...much enjoyed! Hugs~ ~ Whatever our souls are made of, |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Barry, this is your reply to Karilea.... Shining One, have I ever written something you didn't like? Thanx Lady.... And my reply to you....... No, my friend, you have NEVER written anything that I didn't like!! Though I may not find the woirds to reply every time, I do love your writing, Poet-sir...very much!!  Hugs  Ethel |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Thanx Nance, hope your day is going well for you... Keep the toes warm... Ethel, thank you Poet Lady, shucks!!!! You are a kind soul. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
how sad! outstanding piece! |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
this deserves a round of applause and a dozen roses too |
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