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choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

0 posted 2004-02-13 02:23 PM

In infinite dance,
stars collide and vanish among clouds only to return.
-if sunrise does not steal them first-

The retinue of moon phases,
endless motion:
waxing, fulling, waning,
floating, pure white.

As winds rage, trees sway and bend
seemingly in prayer
- though withered,
flower petals will blossom in their
grand return, sway and lean
to face the sun-
as it travels across the sky in daily
procession before setting.

It bows to the moon,
burns and fades, devoured
by horizon pine tops
as lovers embrace, kneel and bow,
light candles, incense of
rose and jasmine, scatter rose petals,
say prayers and fall;
in sweet surrender
blessing each other
with love's bounty.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2004-02-13 02:32 PM

In infinite dance,
stars collide and vanish among clouds only to return.
-if sunrise does not steal them first-

very very nice. the rest wasn't as good in my opinion. it didn't have enough of a point in it for my liking. you had great description though.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

2 posted 2004-02-13 02:42 PM

not supposed to have a point, its infinite

heres a bit of my own sun salutation

Screaming, writhing, the bloody faced sun shouts and cries of the silent line between life and death, yesterday and tomorrow,
warning of both demise and promise,
inhaling and exhaling, one last cry , it vanishes into its own self
only to be reborn and die again, a million times over
connecting the eyes of past spectators to mine right now.

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

3 posted 2004-02-13 03:43 PM

Truly beautiful.

Hugs, Marti

I take no credit for my poems. Although I write them, I feel
more like I transcribe them. It's just a matter of listening.

Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

4 posted 2004-02-13 03:51 PM

Really enjoyed this! Grover.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2004-02-13 03:59 PM

Remarkable in its beauty!
Hugs~

  ~ Whatever our souls are made of,
      his and mine are the same. ~

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

6 posted 2004-02-13 05:00 PM

descriptive, gentle, vivid, lush....
i see your talents easily extend past the usual shorter poems (the ones i always like).
youre an artist my friend

and the world is your canvas

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

7 posted 2004-02-14 12:15 PM

Choshi --- lovely, lovely!

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