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Open Poetry #31
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The Iroquois Were Crying
| Open Poetry #31 |
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The Iroquois Were Crying |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Ontario waves Lap sand and stone, Soft tongues Crush bottles Into shards; To music of wag, They dance With metal; Dressed in threads Of plastic fabrics. * Magnesia milk Blue obsidian, (label still on it) Rides water drifts, Leads an armada Of vessels; Coke-Pepsi- Budweiser Ships, indelible Faded messages Tumble-rubbed; Original names Scrubbed off. * A napkin tossed Tells tales Of menses, Blood-melting Stains water Red, of first nations; Ghost of Venus Rising Afterbirth clots projecting, Into the ocean. * Canoe.. Out of the mist, Grating sound Sand on birch-bark Burden lifted; Iroquois in ragged dress Step on the land Looks, forlorn; I see they are crying. * (From third eye bows) They let fly Shafts of light: Embracing beams Of thought, Lost brothers Reunited; Whose best efforts At warning, Have been heard As fools, whining. * end |
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| © Copyright 2004 ford hume - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
They let fly Shafts of light: Embracing beams Of thought, Lost brothers Reunited; Whose best efforts At warning, Have been heard As fools, whining. * I enjoyed the entire piece, but these last lines left me with lasting impressions. Well done |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
This is a piece I shall walk away remembering for a long time. Excellent write. Hugs~ ~ Whatever our souls are made of, |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
ice It's true, modern flotsom chokes the world. Good write. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
oh Ford, gawd...this is sad  |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Gentle Spirit (btw, a wonderful nic) End lines are very important to me..thank you for pointing them out... * Enchanting Nancy Thank you for taking me for the walk... * Seymour It has choked these first nation spirits to tears, Thank you for reading... * P.S. I was saddened by a memory when I wrote this I guess it shows...I like the frowny...thanks for reading.. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
wow, outstanding write |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Had a feel of Native American to it in its rhythm. I appreciated this write very, very much! ............hugs and Happy Valentine's Day to you! |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
I love this...I'm sitting here thinking what else I can say...I just love this. Thank you... |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Very good imagery, nice tight diction... an excellent poem! Grover. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
very unique but deep and revealing |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big angel hugs) Oh Ford, being of much Native American descent, this broke my heart reading as this reminded me of the old commerical with the indian seeing the industrial and commerical world built over his land and the camera pan zoom of a tear falling down from his eye down his cheek in despair! (sad sigh) I would still be crying every time I think of it, God Bless You, you bring compassion to these righteous brothers of the land, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ford, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Wow! I am flattered by all these responses....  LeeJ Thank you for the "wow" * iliana I feel very close to the native people of this land, feel their rhythms...thank you * Copperbell Love the word love...used in any way, it expresses the best of feelings, thank you. * Grover I am working on improving my diction, thank you fro commenting on it.....glad you liked the poem * inkgoddess "revealing" , then what I tried to do, worked.... Thank you * Noah Your replies are always heartwarming, thank you for being you, and thank you for reading... |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
This was a wonderfully graphic telling. Enjoyed the profound images wrapped around every good thought. Nice writing ice~ |
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