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| Open Poetry #31 |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind 
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Night came so early, boarded my train to Moscow, I left my new number on the table of the room we shared; I did not want to wake your restful sleep -- my eyes are tired, my shirt stained with never ending tears The conductor yelled "tickets" held out his hand, punched the frail paper, felt the hole in my heart as he released and moved down the cars, Why was I crying? I couldn’t remember the last time I cried or the why's for a long time it felt good God it felt right, it was right "good together" you’d say while releasing passion "I miss you when you are gone" I hear those words echo, "I love you," he would say as he tickled my lips with savory fingers lightly brushing, "which part of you can I claim now" "this skin here and here", moving further down my body "Cant you stay" he would ask, "I have to go" why? "I need to be in," -- I just need to be away from here The colors of you ran together as my eyes tried to catch the images passing each frame Four AM. rain trickles the windows, my soul-aches your words haunt my heart over and over "S t a y" ~~**~~ You read before you words I write- See before you my soul, spinning on waves of thought, painting memories of time |
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| © Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
 gawd! haunting write, very sad |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
softly lovely L~ hugs hon. very lovely write. |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
A small word which carries its "wait" in emotion ... ...funny, I have been toying with the word myself and you came up with the real thing. Expressively well done. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
a different sort of feel to this my friend... but as usual..graced with your style..and a soft brush of love.. well done indeed. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
very well done. sad. soft. beautiful. full of emotion and emotion. this is true poetry. love it lauren.  |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Wonderfully Amazing! What a story! Lauren, I hope you have a wonderful and, Happy Valentines Day!!!  |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Lauren, everything you write..leaves me speechless.. This one is absolutely your best! Hugs~ ~ Whatever our souls are made of, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
punched the frail paper, felt the hole in my heart =========================== "I miss you when you are gone" I hear those words echo, "I love you," he would say as he tickled my lips with savory fingers lightly brushing, "which part of you can I claim now" "this skin here and here", moving further down my body ================= The colors of you ran together as my eyes tried to catch the images passing each frame =========================== hauntingly lovely...achingly beautiful... read like a whisper...felt like falling and having the wind knocked out of you...still wanting more.  Well I cant say what I might believe ... |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
this needs to go back up |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Quite a scene you etched out! Enjoyed! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
The conductor yelled "tickets" held out his hand, punched the frail paper, felt the hole in my heart as he released and moved down the cars, I felt you here, like I always do.. you express so well what gets lost in my pain, and it hurts sometimes, so good. Hugs Lady Lauren~ |
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