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Open Poetry #31
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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2004-02-12 12:50 PM


It's true WE stole the viagara, but this is what REALLY happened!

Toerag was my accomplice,
He said they'd never take him alive.
This was his greatest caper,
I was just along to drive.

We sped down the dark highway,
As fast as the van could go,
When, up ahead a roadblock,
I said, "We're done for Toe!"

Toerag knows how the system works,
(It's the closest thing to 'work' he's been),
So he climbed into the back of the van,
And swallowed the evidence.

They couldn't find the viagara,
Though they searched that van all night.
We thought we'd get away for sure,
But then it became daylight.

Toe started sweating profusely,
We didn't notice the symptoms at first,
But then his eyes started to roll,
And he licked his lips in thirst.

He struggled with his trousers,
They suddenly didn't seem to fit.
He moaned and groaned, fidgeted,
Trying to make the best of it.

His face drained of its color,
I thought that boy would faint.
The cops, who were about to leave us,
Started writing out the complaint.

For just across the highway,
To the chagrin of ol' Toerag,
There was a large billboard,
Featuring a Black Velvet whiskey ad.

For those of you who have seen them,
You know just what I mean.
That beautiful blonde in that black velvet dress,
Made poor Toerag "split a seam."

The rest of this story is history,
It's been a painful three years since,
But to this day it's plainly seen,
"He's still 'concealing' the evidence."

Heh, ol' Toe's secret is out in the open now.

© Copyright 2004 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-02-12 12:53 PM


I knew there was more to it than what he said!

hehehehe!!!

love ya'll

Youngatheart
Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333

2 posted 2004-02-12 01:01 PM


I love the title!!!!!!
You guys crack me up.
HAHAHAHAHAHA

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2004-02-12 05:23 PM


If only I could get y'all together... I'd sell tickets! *G*

Excellent retaliation! *S*

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
4 posted 2004-02-12 06:35 PM



you guys are always full of suprises!
LOL

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2004-02-12 07:50 PM


LOL! When Toe's secret is out in the open it's still a very small secret

Thanks for setting the record, er, straight, sailor!

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

6 posted 2004-02-12 11:34 PM


and YOU'RE not the mean one who fell from the nest?   You're cruel!
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
7 posted 2004-02-13 03:28 PM


And it's damn hard....(forgive the use of word)...to conceal this Louisville slugger too!!!!!..

You are not a well person LJA...in the famous words of Barney Fife...."you ain't right boy"...

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
8 posted 2004-02-13 11:55 PM


You got me laughing so hard, I nearly swallowed my tea wrong. This is probably an unforgiveable poem, but I like it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

9 posted 2004-02-14 12:01 PM





Hey LngJhn
I hope you and yours
have a wonderful
Valentines Day!
Keep up the
great work  lol


Richy


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
10 posted 2004-02-14 12:11 PM


It's a BIRD!!!
It's a PLANE!!
.
.

.
.
It's Cupid TOERAG!!!

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