Scalawaggin' Blues (Response to Toerag's ugly, ugly poem about my other name)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2004-02-12 09:44 AM

Wen’ down to Alabama buh-bump buh-bump
To teach that rascal, Toe
How to be more classy
When he writes those ugly pomes.

I tried to work with him buh-bump buh-bump
Show him how to rhyme
Discovered he has no talent,
Almost all the t-i-i-immmme.

He’s got those Scalawaggin’ blues
He hasn’t got no clu-oo-oo-es,
He lives as a recluse
With those Scalawaggin’ blu-oo-oos.
Right down to his shoes
If he had some shoes to wear
Down in Alabama
In his 10-wide trailer thair-air-ere.

Poor ol’ Toe been afflicted buh-bump buh-bump
Like he’s been robbed by looters
The only beat he knows
He gets from lunch at Hooters.

Says all the ladies love him buh-bump buh-bump
Cause he writes real purty.
Thinks his pomes are great
When all they are is di-ir-irty.

He’s got those Scalawaggin’ blues
He hasn’t got no clu-oo-oo-es,
He lives as a recluse
With those Scalawaggin’ blu-oo-oos.
Right down to his shoes
If he had some shoes to wear
Down in Alabama
In his 10-wide trailer thair-air-ere.

He woke up this morning   buh-bump buh-bump
With his hands in the usual place
Scratchin’ and a itchin’
From the bugs he’s tryin’ to raise.

I told him, “Boy, yer tryin’   buh-bump buh-bump
“But the job ain’t gettin’ done
Your writin’ needs some rhythm,
Cuz readin’ you ain’t no fun.

He’s got those Scalawaggin’ blues
He hasn’t got no clu-oo-oo-es,
He lives as a recluse
With those Scalawaggin’ blu-oo-oos.
Right down to his shoes
If he had some shoes to wear
Down in Alabama
In his 10-wide trailer thair-air-ere.

Well - you all get the idea - need I sing any more?  If anybody has some verses to add to this old, old blues song, please add them on.  We need to teach that boy some respect!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-02-12 09:54 AM

I'm getting this very visual image of you doing a line-dance to this song...appropriate hip action and the whole nine yards...

it's so good to see you boys playing NICE!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

2 posted 2004-02-12 09:59 AM

Playing NICE, Karliea???? Have you not read that ugly poem Toe wrote about 1st class delieveries? Have you not read that ugly, ugly poem about my other name???? You have? And you call him NICE? Woe is me - even the Moderators are jumping on that rascal's bandwagon. What chance does a lowly poet, a terrific poet, a humble poet, a wonderful poet, a modest poet, such as me has when I am so maligned??? [insert fake tears here]

Youngatheart
Member

since 2003-12-30

Posts 333

3 posted 2004-02-12 10:40 AM

Do not cry Long John...you are strong and can take the beatings....anyway...don't you secretly like the beatings?????

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2004-02-12 10:53 AM

LngJhnAg
Go get him John. He just has no respect.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2004-02-12 11:36 AM

Jiminy Christmas!!! A little silence, PLEASE!!!!

I was wondering what all that caterwauling was... Sailor... whoever told you that you could sing LIED!!!! LOL

As for scalawags... some pot's calling the kettle black. LOL

But I do love it! *S*

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

6 posted 2004-02-12 11:38 AM

LongJohn's just jealous cuz my trailer is biggern' his and mine's out in the country on a hundred acres of mountains...his is downtown next to a pawn shop

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

7 posted 2004-02-12 11:55 AM

I'm loving this!!
Let's dance......buh-bump buh-bump

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

8 posted 2004-02-12 12:04 PM

Long John -- yep, you're a'singin'!

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

9 posted 2004-02-12 01:11 PM

You’re right LngJhn... the guy’s a Rapscallion, and a Miscreant, at the very least...

I’ll tell ya, here’s a few things you’ll never hear that scamp say:

Nope, no more for me. I'm a drivin tonight.

Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

Or,

I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Hey, love the song LngJhn... it’s got a nice beat...

And you can dance to it...

bump bump bump... bump de dump...

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

10 posted 2004-02-12 01:22 PM

That was a great reply, Richy, but I haven't forgotten your "Shipping Brown" comment yet; so I've still got you on my list of future poetry subjects - heh.

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

11 posted 2004-02-12 01:32 PM

Hey LngJhn... I'zz jus funnin thas all...

Besides... Toe put me up to it...

Hey Toe, thanks a bunch... !

Lorelei54
Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 458

12 posted 2004-02-12 02:45 PM

If only he paid this much attention to me..lol...he does love to write...~~~

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

13 posted 2004-02-12 07:54 PM

Hey, Lorelei! If you had the hooters Toerag does, you'd GET the attention!!

Nice song, sailor! I'd call it the Toerag Trailer Trash Boogie...da dum!!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.