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Open Poetry #31
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-02-10 06:34 PM



Some night I will write
to you of wildflowers dancing in fields--
heavy skies,   &autumns chill
to make me  fragile to you-
to your hands touch  -- as soft
as your eyes that gaze my heart

  Somewhere, someone will paint
pictures of us, along the rivers edge --
naked sand and water   pure forms
flowing

read for me   your soul
"It begins here"  from lines
of these pages  soaked in amber's hue

stay with me a little while
the night is young

tomorrow start your journey
with-out me


I,         will pray tomorrow never comes


~~**~~
Greatly Inspired & Muse Dedicated


~~**~~
You read before you words I write-
See before you my soul,
spinning on  waves of thought,
painting memories of time

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (02-10-2004 09:27 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-02-10 07:02 PM



Your muse should be smiling...
I am!

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
2 posted 2004-02-10 07:54 PM


I think maybe, if I am lucky I too will see that smile.... lady thank you for your smile...

~~**~~
You read before you words I write-
See before you my soul,
spinning on  waves of thought,
painting memories of time

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-02-10 08:02 PM


And I too am smiling pretty lady~
Hugs~

~ I like not only to be loved,
   but to be told I am loved ~
                
            

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
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Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
4 posted 2004-02-10 08:04 PM


hugsss Nancy.....thank you for your smile as well... pretty lady...

~~**~~
You read before you words I write-
See before you my soul,
spinning on  waves of thought,
painting memories of time

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-02-10 08:06 PM


"Somewhere, someone will paint
pictures of us, along the rivers edge --
naked sand and water   pure forms
flowing "

Lauren -- this was really profoundly lovely!

muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
6 posted 2004-02-10 08:07 PM


this is soooo lovely!
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California
7 posted 2004-02-10 08:14 PM


Lauren...you are grace in words!
Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
8 posted 2004-02-10 08:21 PM


awww, this is a sad'n... but pretty, yes, pretty. soft, smooth, and with a very cool title tied in to the theme as a whole. a kipper for sure.

one suggestion: change "with out" to "with-out" you. I'm assuming you separated it intentionally to set it apart - and it works that way, but looks like a grammatical error. (2 pennies worth is all).

hope you find that smile.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2004-02-11 01:05 AM



to make me  fragile to you-
to your hands touch  -- as soft
as your eyes that gaze my heart

  Somewhere, someone will paint
pictures of us, along the rivers edge --
naked sand and water   pure forms
flowing

read for me   your soul
"It begins here"  from lines
of these pages  soaked in amber's hue

stay with me a little while
the night is young

tomorrow start your journey
with-out me


=======================================

"As I'm leaving
A change comes on my eyes
These streets persuading me
With mumbled strange goodbyes

Through the water
Through the rain
To the soul of everything
Throw my heart out on the stones
And I'm almost gone


Through the water
Through the rain
To the soul of everything
Throw my memories to the wind
And I'm almost gone"

David Gray



The work of language deserves our greatest care ...
for the tongue’s fire may devour the world or may light the way.

S.R.Sanders

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
10 posted 2004-02-11 01:40 AM


read for me   your soul
"It begins here"  from lines
of these pages  soaked in amber's hue

That's a nice shade on you, Lauren~  



passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2004-02-11 02:39 AM


oh what a feeling
Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

12 posted 2004-02-11 05:26 AM



“read for me your soul
"It begins here" from lines
of these pages soaked in amber's hue

stay with me a little while
the night is young

tomorrow start your journey
with-out me


I, will pray tomorrow never comes”


So would I...

And the next day either, for that matter...

This was wonderful Lauren!

And I love your new picture
Very Pretty!





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