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DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

0 posted 2004-02-08 09:48 AM

Underlying a sliver of White thick cloud
Screaming streaming bolts
Seek

Mellowing mixing gliding twisting
Weaving bouncing white horse colts

Massive all-encompassing dictatorial
Controlling all

Brass raises the ideas
Silver the rewards
Gold the domination

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2004-02-08 10:07 AM

Nice to read you again Dave...
Powerful choice of words, interesting format and delivery
These emotional steps we take through life...
Well done.
TD

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-02-08 10:09 AM

Thanks TD

Got home late friday, slept saturday, off in about 4 hours.

I didn't mean to write but it grabs you and then you are sat at a keyboard and knowing your real self, yet again.

regards

Dave

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2004-02-08 01:05 PM

great piece

powerful indeed

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

4 posted 2004-02-13 07:17 PM

Thanks Passing Shadows

I still want to write on notes.

I see the notes from a horn blowing visually in the air and I want to capture that in words.

dave

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

5 posted 2004-02-15 11:39 PM

Dave, I know what you mean. On the drive home tonight, I was stopped at a railroad crossing under an overpass hearing the cars whoshing overhead, the rhymic thumping of the train on the tracks, the clanking of the bells at the crossing, the blinking red lights on the crossing gate.......that's what your piece reminded me of in some measure -- observing and capturing a moment. Hope I was correct in my understanding. Enjoyed.

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

6 posted 2004-02-16 04:17 PM

I end up coming back to read something I've written and wondering how i understand it.

It all seemed to go together and Illiana's comment is probably truer than I know.

I originally wanted to capture visually music notes in words and instead I seemed to capture a 5 hour journey to cover 190 miles.

Thanks

Dave

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