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GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2004-02-06 09:23 PM

I’ve been learning that
Wisdom always conjures grief...
With knowledge, sorrow stains my soul.
Your pale flesh and rawhide words
Imprint themselves upon me, whole.

Discerning death is easy now,
And all too often reminisced.
Bliss is in your easy eyes
Where ignorance and fear exist.

Retrieving lies,
Conceived disguise,
You believe in compromises now...

Losing me...
Naïve,
Deceived,
I hate you, somehow.

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2004-02-06 09:30 PM

Alyssa, anyone who is not in your shoes has no idea what you must go through. My heart goes out to you. Your poems are so honest and really powerful.

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

2 posted 2004-02-06 09:42 PM

Alyssa,
I'm not sure if I'm reading this the way you meant, but I think I understand. It seems like you're telling me life's timing is off. You have such a gentle soul, hurting not only for yourself it seems. Your writing has always led me to believe you are a very good person who has a gift of compassion.
Cathy

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

3 posted 2004-02-06 09:59 PM

iliana,
that seems to be the way it is with everything, nobody can understand a situation unless they are the one in it, and even then they can't understand it for someone else who's there too. But to understand that means alot, I'm glad you do

thanks for your thoughtful reply and for the compliments.

Cathy,
This is just about a person who claims to love me but seems to be heartless, emotionless, and always has been. Now with everything going on he's had the chance to change if he ever would, and he hasn't (Not the same person who's dying btw!). Maybe I'm just overly sensitive right now, but whether I am or not, his choice of ignorance is losing my respect and the more I realise it, the more it hurts. ahh I'm longwinded again, sorry lol. Thank you for being thoughtful and for your own compassion

(btw, the second and third lines were somewhat taken from the Bible... Ecclesiastes 1:18)
Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2004-02-07 12:48 PM

(big angel hugs) This is so deeply heartfelt, sweet friend, let your heart decide if this one deems worthy as nothing hurts more than deceiving ones own heart! (sigh) I wish you the best, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Alyssa, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

5 posted 2004-02-07 03:52 PM

Hello Alyssa

Your words are always so passionate and I felt a lot of emotion reading them. You deserve much love and happiness.

Take care my friend

Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

6 posted 2004-02-08 02:16 AM

Noah,
you're right, that hurts more then most anything else could. It's a hard call though, between decieving ones own heart.. and watching somebody else decieve themselves and try to take you with them. *sigh* Thanks for your reply

Sue,
happiness... it isn't even something I think about much anymore. I have a joy in my heart, real joy. But as long as I'm on earth, searching for happiness will get me nowhere. I do to die, and don't ask why. In heaven I'll be happy

Thank you for your wishes for me, you are kind.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2004-02-08 05:28 AM

you hit the nail on the head...gawd I feel this way too sometimes

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

8 posted 2004-02-08 11:35 AM

Gg,
Thanks for the response...
~C~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

9 posted 2004-02-10 10:59 PM

This is pretty powerful poetry ~

Very Nicely, GG~

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

10 posted 2004-02-12 05:34 AM

Dix,
Yeah, I imagine we all do sometimes. Thanks for your reply

Cathy,
of course

Blues,
it sure is in my heart. Glad it made it to paper like that too. Thanks for replying

Always, Alyssa

PS, sorry for the slow replies.. been down and out since Sunday.

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

11 posted 2004-02-21 06:12 PM

i am in your shoes, have been for quite a while , check out my in darkness i fear, an angels wing. corner pub, blinded by pain, i really feel your heart and soul, dont ever stop writing or feeling

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

12 posted 2004-02-21 10:40 PM

"I’ve been learning that
Wisdom always conjures grief..."

Perhaps, certainly it brings more burden.

You share thoughts worth pondering, thank you.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

13 posted 2004-02-26 03:32 AM

mgroves,
I'll try to check those out when I get some time, not had much of that lately... If you feel my heart then I'm sorry for the pain! Thank you for your reply

icebox,
it definitely does. Glad I gave you something to ponder

thanks for your reply, sir.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

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