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Open Poetry #31
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LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296


0 posted 2004-02-06 10:51 AM


Lost memorials of shortages
What blots the demands?
What I thought I knew, I didn’t understand
Life goes on without you
Half light spreading its robe at my feet
Now…here without you….simply
Reached out for your hand, but you pulled it away
My passions look at your photo
While a faint voice tries to extend a boat trip
And our part of a hot spot here on earth
Becomes an endless serious of sinking ships
Failure espiers my inadequacy
For first time readers
You gave a peculiar outlining to my weathered flesh
I suppose you were my destiny’s fantasist
That harpoon you threw drug me under the water
Didn’t you know it was me?
The struggling writer, biting cold and dismal nights?
You were my ungraspable phantom of life
The fates, freewill and voyage of the soul
A chapel’s first careless rapture, entering Sunday Morning

I read about an author’s death, and wondered about
The wanton caprice of flame…both brittle and wholesome
With a little irresponsible attraction…yet to interrupt that charm
Would be like breaking the intensity of mystics
Immediate impulse takes another career
Adventurous spirits at my feet, seeking again life, freedom

I wonder about what was best for you, confessing the wealth of imagination
Reminding me to finish painting the entrance stairway to my home
Was it trespassing too much upon your rhythm tic perspective?
Talk is cordial before my mind
Colors became almost brilliant again
Vistas of green sketch with a constant flow
There’s an expectation in my heart…about someone I’ve yet to know
Who will infect me with his eccentricity & capers fantastic
And I’ll smile to remember your isles of Mardi
And know the semblance I can offer him…if not more
In an extraordinary language and poetic inspirations will
Guide our inability to understand it…
Human nature is pretty remarkable…don’t you think?


© Copyright 2004 Lee J. - All Rights Reserved
Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
1 posted 2004-02-06 01:13 PM


A very nice poem, sensitive. I did, however, trip over the line, Becomes an endless *serious of sinking ships, and the word *espiers. Grover.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-02-06 01:48 PM


Lee, I am wanting to apologize for not reading more of you...I feel bad, because I love to read everyone here...but for some reason when I read you, I feel like I'm in 7th grade, trying to relate to someone with a PhD.

Your writings are not the traditional form of poetry and no one says they have to be. Your vocabulary is outstanding. Your mind is complex at times, with thought processes leading to lengthy writings.

I lost my passion for reading somewhere in the middle of college life. I do try to read through your writings when you post, but often find myself overwhelmed, having to study each sentence with close attention, or having to go back to the beginning because I lost the train of thought.

I will keep trying though. Please bear with me.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2004-02-06 03:28 PM


Hi PS...I don't know what to say, except the fact that you have left many messages on my poems as such...I will most certainly consider your critique...but...in the same...you don't have to keep trying if they perplex you to the point of leaving a comment as such.  I am not a college graduate...just a few classes beyond high school. Thanks for taking the time though, to read and comment...sending many blessings and smiles your way.  Have a great weekend

This poem was about my ex-husband...bad relationship, very bad, and yet, there is always something good that comes from each and every moment in life.

Also, forgive the typos...

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