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Open Poetry #31
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2004-02-04 10:54 PM



~*~

Carry on down the marsh
through streaming lakes
where water pools in ponds.

Leaving your reflection
calm in the wake
glassed over in the silence.

Ripples in the mirror
pouring rain in cold pockets
dripping tears off my eyelashes.

Look for me
or leave me alone
face down in tall grass.

Turning away from the sky
to bury my heart
so my sorrow doesn't show.

As the snow melts away
running down a ravine
catching up with the spring.

I'll miss those long summer days
down by the sea
when I planned my vacation around you.

Like a favorite song
caught up in the wind
I'll carry on without you.

~The End~

© Copyright 2004 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

1 posted 2004-02-04 10:59 PM


you have such a naturalistic way of writing good poetry.  Loved that last stanza:

"Like a favorite song
caught up in the wind
I'll carry on without you."

so thought provoking and so well defined

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2004-02-04 11:12 PM




(big angel hugs) Awwwwwww, this is sad but beautiful, sweet friend, you will carry on and will grow richer in love as you are bound to remember all those lyrics dancing in the wind in a whole more sonorous re-mix, God Bless You, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
3 posted 2004-02-04 11:13 PM



As the snow melts away
running down a ravine
catching up with the spring.

I'll miss those long summer days
down by the sea
when I planned my vacation around you.

Like a favorite song
caught up in the wind
I'll carry on without you.

love how it flowed up and down into that stream of love
ooh love,
stay warm and wonderful, girlie
as always, this is a gem

HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
4 posted 2004-02-04 11:44 PM


excellently expressed in the most beautiful way
Yes someway , somehow , life goes on ,
although in our hearts we are missing someone
Hope

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
5 posted 2004-02-05 12:16 PM


They are good....every line. I like the way you sewed this poetic garment together -- with a light but sure touch.

Here's to tomorrow!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
6 posted 2004-02-05 12:19 PM


I like the expression of sadness. Awesome poem.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

7 posted 2004-02-05 01:51 AM




There’s all of these marshes around here,
in protected wildlife lands, that I like to go
to instead of my daily walk down by the canal.

And although, I haven’t been out there all
winter long, your story, brought some vivid
imagery back to mind.

“Look for me
or leave me alone
face down in tall grass.

Turning away from the sky
to bury my heart
so my sorrow doesn't show.”

That, unfortunately is something I can relate,
all too well with..

As well as, favorite songs, caught up in the wind

Now as far as, carrying on goes...

Well... that’s one, I’m still working on...

You hang in there, okay Bluesy?

Long summer days, down by the sea
can’t be too far off...

In fact...

I think they were made,
just for you...



passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2004-02-05 04:08 AM


oh gawd! this is good and sad
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
9 posted 2004-02-05 06:29 AM


there's ALWAYS tomorrow..and me


remember that
hugs
M

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

10 posted 2004-02-05 09:19 AM


"The End"
Sounds like it was time for that.  Spring is coming and, along with time, will bring healing.  ~K~  

Michelle_loves_Mike
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2004-02-05 09:33 AM


Like a favorite song
caught up in the wind
I'll carry on without you.

What a great way to ell someone they hold nothing over you! great write
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

12 posted 2004-02-05 10:39 AM


Lori, this is so touching.  Hey gal, love that new pic too!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2004-02-05 02:02 PM


Lori...You will carry on...I can feel the strength in your words...and the memory will remain.  Beautiful poem of loss and growth!
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
14 posted 2004-02-05 03:21 PM


Like a favorite song
caught up in the wind
I'll carry on without you.

~The End~


Lori, this last part shows what great
amount of strength you have. This
is beautiful, even though sad.
Hugs, my friend  
Ethel

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2004-02-06 03:30 PM


Look for me
or leave me alone
face down in tall grass.

Turning away from the sky
to bury my heart
so my sorrow doesn't show.

Your pen pours such beauty... *S* And I'm going to show my age (like it doesn't show whether I allow or not! LOL)... for your title reminds me of an old CSNY song... "Carry on, love is coming, love is coming to us all." May it come soon. *S*

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
16 posted 2004-02-06 03:34 PM


An exceptional poem! Grover.
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
17 posted 2004-02-06 03:36 PM


Great poem, Bluesy!
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
18 posted 2004-02-06 04:44 PM


great poem!
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
19 posted 2004-02-06 05:53 PM


Like a favorite song
caught up in the wind
I'll carry on without you.'''

~~


awwww Lori you're tugging heart strings here....heart hugs pretty lady....


Lauren~

I lie awake at night
I reach out to touch
Feel you by my side
I reach I never feel you
Will I ever get to feel you again
Just one more time

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
20 posted 2004-02-06 07:16 PM


Lori, this moves my heart.
You write so beautifully.
Love and hugs. Margherita

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
21 posted 2004-02-06 08:32 PM


Thank you everyone for reading my mood poetry.  

Hugs and *shrugs*

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