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Open Poetry #31
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Kie
Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 77
USA

0 posted 2004-02-02 12:07 PM



Remember The Tulips


I’m waiting for the tulips
To come again in spring
I long to touch, their petals
To bring you back to me

I see their many colored hues
Unfolding in my mind
It floods my heart with memories
Your face is so defined

I see you in the tulip bed
The sun behind your hair
You looked just like an angel
As I smiled and stared

I hear your voice, call to me
So soft, I lean to hear
You speak to me of tulips
Of romance planted there

I loved to touch the flowers
Those you handled with such care
When I’d bend to kiss them
You’d softly touch my hair

Now each spring
When tulips bloom
I sit beside the bed
I stare at all the colors
Until I find your hue
I softly kiss the petals side
Whispering, “I remember you”

© Copyright 2004 Kie - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-02-02 12:38 PM


quite full of melancholy here, but also of beauty

wonderful piece

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

2 posted 2004-02-02 12:45 PM


just had to add a little . . .

with skirts of many colors
dancing in the breeze
the tulip bed reminds me
with you I was so pleased

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

3 posted 2004-02-02 12:53 PM


Woohoo! Love this piece. Bravo!

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2004-02-02 02:14 PM


Kie~
Firstly, let me welcome you to PiP~

This is a lovely penning ... replete with vivid imagery~
Lovely~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-02-02 03:06 PM


Very romantic!  
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
6 posted 2004-02-02 05:07 PM


The colors are rich and vibrant...
Enjoyed.
TD

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2004-02-02 05:11 PM


Ahhh just beautiful!
Hugs~

~ At the touch of love
everyone becomes a poet ~
                
                Plato.

Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
8 posted 2004-02-02 05:17 PM


I never thought of a tulip as a romantic flower, but after this poem I do. Will I have a romantic day tomorrow! We have so many tulips over here!

Well done!

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
9 posted 2004-02-02 06:29 PM


Absolutely gorgeous. I love tulips and I have just written a little poem tonight where they play also a significant role.
Welcome to Passions.
Love, Margherita

ParisGrl
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610

10 posted 2004-02-02 06:33 PM


Kie,

This is beautiful.  I love tulips too.

Great Write,

~Laura~

Amara
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 158
East of the moon, west of the sun.
11 posted 2004-02-02 07:39 PM


You've replied to so many of mine, time to reply to yours, love!

Beautiful and sweet, and the beats are perfect- well, except for the last line, which needs a tiny tweak. Would you consider changing it to 'And whisper "I remember you"'?

See, it changes where the first stress falls, and helps the flow. In most of your lines, if not all, the first stress falls on the second syllable. The last line drawws the stress to the first one, so if you rearrange it like so, the beats will fall properly!

But please, it's beautiful either way, and it's your work, do with it as you please. I'll think of tulips differently, now! Which reminds me- good job in picking a flower other than 'roses', or other overdone 'love flowers'. Very fresh, and sweet. (Not that roses aren't lovely!)

Light keep you always,
Amara

May light keep you, faith guide you, and love and laughter always find you.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
12 posted 2004-02-02 11:54 PM




(does happy flower dance) Awwwwwwwww, I love tulips sooooooo much as they are flowers of happiness to me, sweet friend, paintbrushes of springs artistic blush of love! (smiles) This is soooooo lovely, sweet friend, I'm so happy you joined this special poetic family, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Kie
Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 77
USA
13 posted 2004-02-03 07:27 AM


I thank you all for your heart warming welcome. You have been so kind and generous in your comments. Amara, I thank you for the suggestion on the last line, will do.

Kie

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