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Open Poetry #31
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steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058


0 posted 2004-01-27 07:33 PM




Heart thrust, my beloved flame
Lights my core with passion's fire
Come to me my love I pray
Leave not fervor’s side


© Copyright 2004 Steaven R Snow - All Rights Reserved
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

1 posted 2004-01-27 08:14 PM


Cool write Steaven.  Interesting form, I had to look it up, never seen it before.  
Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
2 posted 2004-01-27 08:27 PM


i haven't seen many write a dodoitsu. it became a favorite form of mine a few months ago.

nicely done.

"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda


Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
3 posted 2004-01-27 08:55 PM


I am learning from the many styles you are trying on this evening.  Perhaps you have worn them before or are they new to you as well?  Either way, my friend, your poems suit me just beautifully.  

Patricia


steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

4 posted 2004-01-27 09:06 PM


Duncan, thank you but you can find this and other cool forms on http://members.optushome.com.au/kazoom/poetry/dodoitsu.html

Snow, glad you liked it…glad you have several that you will hopefully share

Pat, they are all new to me…just trying to expand my horizons…since I have so little inspiration from my sheltered, well-ordered life, I need something to bring variety to my writing styles

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
5 posted 2004-01-27 09:31 PM


This is an interesting piece of work. Wish I could say I could write that way... but I can't! Great write here!

Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2004-01-27 10:48 PM




(sigh) Awwwwwww, I love this, sweet friend, this sounds like such a wonderful poetic form, yay, I should try it sometime, may your heart always beat smooth like wild honey, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Steaven, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
7 posted 2004-01-27 10:53 PM


Like they often say "you learn something new everyday." I have never even heard of this form before. Thankyou steavenr for sharing this lovely write with us. Chris

"At one glance
I love you
With a thousand hearts."


— Mihri Hatun, Turkish poet



    

J.Samm
Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415
Iloilo City, Philippines
8 posted 2004-01-27 10:59 PM


passionate write!
jaicie114
Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750
On the edge of forever
9 posted 2004-01-28 02:27 PM


steavenr...ditto on not knowing what the form is...but, I sincerely think this would be a smashing verse in any form!  Thanks!

Love and Light...jc

This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light.

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
10 posted 2004-01-28 03:24 PM


Hot! Hot! Hot! steve you are on fire!!!!!

Passionate

~ARH
love and hugs!

Open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart, let me come in and show you love.....~ARH

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2004-01-28 04:00 PM


steavenr
Unfamiliar with the form but enjoyed the write.

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

12 posted 2004-01-28 06:05 PM


Saunni, thank you, but I dare say you sell yourself short.  This was but an exercise I gave myself to exercise my writing skills.

Noah, thank you and PLEASE do try it…that would be great!

Nightshade, thank you…it was new for me too

J.Samm, thank you for noticing

jaicie, as always, you are far too kind…thank you

ARH, coming from you, I count that high praise indeed

Seymour, thank you kindly

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2004-04-22 12:56 PM


thanks for the link...the write is cool!
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
14 posted 2004-04-22 06:18 PM


Steavenur -- what a gorgeous exercise it is!  Thanks for the beautiful reading and for the link!     .....jo
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
15 posted 2007-11-11 12:45 PM


enjoyed


ARCTIC WIND

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