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Open Poetry #31

On the Shore of Reality

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2004-01-26 06:08 AM

Casting out with weighed line into the night
Pausing there with stayed mind away from light

Watching those which played without the briefest look,
Catching their movements as they fled from sight.

Without hook once more do they slip away,
Weighed line still dangles in the pool of night.

Gloom

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

1 posted 2004-01-26 06:29 AM

Dear Professor,

   I feel this one, as if the line was cast in distance here.  I can only say that whoever did this probably cared and has weighing line, too.

       Your Passions in Poetry friend,
                Sadelite

McLean
Member

since 2004-01-05

Posts 484
state of marital bliss

2 posted 2004-01-26 06:46 AM

Yep, characteristically gloomy, dear.  Look at that word on the 3rd line: "briefest".

Funny.

I laugh at this word, because it is correct, but doesn't it look goofy?  Yes, your poem was gloomy, but that one particular word, read with my warped sense of the alphabet, made me laugh.

You remind me of Oscar the Grouch, Gloom, and I mean that in a very endearing way.  On the appearance, Oscar seems callous and gloom-loving, but inside, he's the one Sesame Street character I would trust...he's quite compassionate.

Thought for the day!