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Open Poetry #31
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In Loving Memory (a trilogy of repost in honor of my brother)
| Open Poetry #31 |
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In Loving Memory (a trilogy of repost in honor of my brother) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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 and he was proud he had a pass-- He even called the attendants and I had to tell them he was fine. "Yes." (oh yes) I would make sure that he would check in by nine... "Yes." (oh yes) I was assured. Brother Tim received his meds. "But--" I heard him hesitate-- "Tim's been quite upset." It seems his pastor had just died... I did not bother to correct. "Yes, I know." I simply said. "His pastor was my brother." just make sure Tim got 'home' fine. "Of course," I thought, "why would I not?" Nine was medication time. and told Tim "Have a seat." Already crying big man tears he smiled and took the captain's chair. His voice broke emotion's peace as he confessed to me: "I have no other place to grieve." I nodded and replied, "I know." I made a pot of coffee then and gave him the remote control. how long he plans to hang around. But after he escaped his keep from the halfway house last week I always checked with orderlies-- just to put their minds at ease. "Let's just humor them" I said. Tim nodded in conspiracy. I pulled a Bible from the shelf. A special print of the King James, the type was large and printed bold. Then I searched his eyes and asked as gently as our grief allowed. "Do you remember this, my friend?" He sobbed as I said, "It's yours now..." a promise of the heart from Tim. He'd given this to his dear friend-- a quiet present for Christmas-- noticing my brother squint when they'd discuss the gospel truth. He never mentioned the large print-- the gift was wrapped in dignity the silences of men will speak so much more than words. and held his forehead in his hand. "There's no one left who knows The Word-- nobody who can understand..." He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat and told me that my brother died saved by Jesus on the cross-- and said my brother had been kind... I didn't say a word but smiled sure now, Tim had lost his mind. punctuated by their fists on my brother's kitchen table red-faced, they were both convinced the other was an idiot-- oh yeah, they spread The Word. I know I always left assured that all New Orleans had just heard-- but passion was their play. He rifled pages absently. Then The Word fell passively from his hands onto my floor and opened as an augury to the family page of Death. was my father's name. Just below the loyal son penned in my own pain: it was so plain-- we knew we could not argue fact. Tim and I met with eyes. Tim said to me, "I should get back." He handed me the Hand of God. I took from him remote control he muttered something about a pill that seemed to give him happy dreams and how tonight he'd swallow it instead of tonguing it in cheek. Then he looked at me and winked-- destination--tv screen-- 'home'... to watch "Smallville." I have felt bone of hand as I paid for ferry's cross. It's true that there was no change made-- the price I paid became the cost. to River Styx-- I wished for powers of the Christ. Fervently, in a pained bliss I invoked the cross: I stood command in posure that my word was so-- "Lazarus." I said again "Wake up, it's time to go." say it's not so... someone tell me that he breathes? Lazarus... my brother--walk! then I fell down to my knees disbelief of miracle-- my pleas a faithless blasphemy-- I begged each god "oh help us please" commandment written in mere chalk... Lazarus, already freed-- stood there just beyond my eye-- so much more alive than I you just don't know-- how hard it was to leave..." pounding table-topped despair. He closed his eyes as if in sway. and demons danced in memories-- how hard it was to stay..." |
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| © Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Karen?... Thank you...for sharing these again, and most of all for sharing Keith with us... he lives on through you... Love you so much, Karen...  "When the power of love overcomes the love |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
I read it all Karen. Every single heart wrenching word. Bless you for this. Chris |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
K......Hugs. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
i read every single word...knowing every bit of pain, having lost a brother myself not so long ago.....this is a beautiful way to speak to your brother..through the eyes of all of us... ...im glad he rests peacefully...  ~Dawn |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (tears fall down my cheeks) God Bless You, dearest friend, you have obviously poured out all your heart writing this, arranging the photo album in your mind of every close or distant moment, whether it be peaceful or angry, and turned it into the ultimate tribue that I'm sure Keith's reading in spirit! (big angel hugs) Your brother will always love you and deep down despite a few differences will always accept you as his sister, yay, I absolutely love this, I send angel comfort hugs your way to console your loss, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Hugs of the soul are always broader, deeper and fuller when shared. Hugs Karen. TD |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
I read it from beginning to end. It is sad. I had a brother, too. He died when he was 26. I miss him, so much. Thank you for sharing this. |
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misao Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 50 |
Im sure that uncle is reading this and he has a giant smile. These beautiful words can change a persons life who has lost a loved one before. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Karen? ...... I read each and every word.. ~Heart hugs~ |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
He never mentioned the large print-- the gift was wrapped in dignity the silences of men will speak so much more than words Bless you for sharing your heart in your sorrow, and all the wisdom that lies within, Serenity~ |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
thank you for sharing these snippets of your life...I was captivated by every word...I found so much much to be revealing and so transparent...loved the following words especially: "the silences of men will speak so much more than words" though there were tons more that spoke as elegantly from your heart as did these |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Karen - If you can write them all - I can surely read them all... God Bless...  |
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misao Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 50 |
Thank you all for your kindness and understanding. And misao, my lovely girl, that is the best, most healing reply I have ever received. Thank you so much. love, mom |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and tsk... you forgot to log out again, sweetie. (this time my eyes were so filled with tears I didn't notice) I think we can let it slide though.  |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
read each word?...yes...between each tear...i got cha....k...right here...h |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thank you, Karen for sharing this and for being the beautiful soul that you are. "And yes, I like to believe that the dead can read. Don't you?" Yes, they can read...I know this. Hugs to you lady! |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Serenity, that was one of the most sweetest, saddest, and heartfelt tributes I have ever read. Yes not only can our departed loved ones read. Sometimes I think they help me write too. Not that any of them would want to take any credit for anything I’ve written... Serenity, I hope that everyone who’s life was touched by your dear brother, is finding some way to cope with such a sad loss. I have five brothers myself. And I want to thank you for reminding us, how important it is to make sure our loved ones know, how much they really mean to us. Blessings to you, and your whole family, Take Great Care, Richy |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Karen, I also read every word through my tears. Love you, my friend.  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"These beautiful words can change a persons life who has lost a loved one before." Your daughter's words, say it all. Wishing for you the "change" that is necessary to continue to make the best of the time we all have on this earth to share with those we love. hugs M |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
he hears... "sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.." |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
KA, you for share your heart so sincerely and with such emotional honesty....its impossible not to be moved by the words. Your dedication was equally beautiful and touching. I know the emotional cost that this level of expression comes with...I also know the release and healing found as well. This is such a stunning tribute.  |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
" ...he confessed to me: "I have no other place to grieve." I nodded and replied, "I know." ' *smile* The dead not only can read, they are once again free to dance. May the coming year rest more gently on your shoulders. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
My dear friend, I'm sorry I was indisposed yesterday or you know I would have been right here with you reading through this again, and again, and re-living the good memories... |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
A Conversation with Keith *nodding* |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Lovely words for us and him to read...James |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Dearest Karen, You tug on such a weak heart of mine. Pain I only partially understand. Yet with so much empathy. Your writing still means a lot to me. I am blessed by your remembering. Also remember this...I think of you often. God bless sweet friend. &  P.S. I loved every word of your recall. And don't forget that I believe: If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
OH Larry? Yer my buddy... and to all of you, I wanted to extend my gratitude once again. I felt funny doing this, kind of like it was a cheap play on sympathy, but I just decided to do this the way my brother always did--he never cared what other people thought of his motives and always lived sincere in the moment. So thanks again. I truly think I've found some closure, and so many of you have been holding my hand during some pretty intense times for me. Blessings to you all.  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Not forgotten....a beautiful tribute.  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Just Beyond My Eye is quite possibly one of the greatest poems I have ever read. I could go into a long speech about why it is so masterful....but I won't because that's not the point here. I'm very sorry for your loss, sweet friend. One never gets over things like this...we just give way to acceptance and melancholy. May the years lessen the pain and the memories dry the tears....no one can read these without feeling close to you. I know I do... |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Hey girl...hugs ok? There arent words so just hugs |
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Ravenwolfvoyager Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326 |
I'm sorry for the pain of your loss. Your heart is big enough to hold the world and the love for your brother long enough to last an eternity. Thank you for sharing this Karen. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Just more ...just cuz...smile"When the power of love overcomes the love |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I didn't just read every word... I went back to read again... What a beautiful tribute... what love shines through. |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
yes I read every thoughtful , touching word Hugs Karen Hope |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This tribute in trilogy to your brother touched me not only through content, but through the clarity and warmth of pure emotion that this carried throughout. Never apologize for the length Karen ... this was a treasure to read every heart-felt word. I too, believe ... Best wishes and hugs to you, /Kit |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
The love shines through, the devotion overflows, the binding threads of sibling ties wrap it so exquisitly. You have touched my heart very deeply Take care, dear poetess Liz |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Would have sworn I added this to the library the first time .... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Would have sworn I added this to the library the first time .... |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
What more respect could one human being ever hope for. My heart overflows with the love, and also the pain in this Karen. May time find a comfortable place for you to keep him always right there when you need him. I do understand this feeling more than I can say. I was blinded by my grief. Lazarus, already freed-- stood there just beyond my eye-- so much more alive than I Of course he reads, and I bet he's smiling too? You painted this gentle giant in such love that I could almost see him strumming that guitar. Keith, dont you worry we've got her covered. |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Karen, I read it all...and wiped a tear from my eye. believe in what your heart feels... |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
(and yes, i read the whole thing) |
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Rockfish New Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 5 |
a very complex emotion you leave the reader one of empathy sympathy admiration of talent incredible |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
 I know what it's like...I just don't have a date for mine |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
A beautiful and touching tribute to your brother Karen, I can only image the pain you're going through..I'm so sorry for your loss. and yes, I believe the dead can read. m'friend.M Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I didn't forget, Keith. It's just harder to remember now. Zach is seventeen...can y'believe it? He plays guitar too, and you'd be so proud--he's good, and Krista wants to learn the flute--she is gorgeous too--makes me nervous. It's probably best things turned out this way--we miss you, but I don't think Cathy could stand this without ya'll. So give kisses to Cathy, and hug Dad, and tell him I'm gonna stomp some marigolds come spring. I love you. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
And from these eyes  *touching* ... so very *touching* and Serenity .... we never forget .... never~ *Huglets* ~*me ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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