navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #31 » Breathe
Open Poetry #31
Post A Reply Post New Topic Breathe Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
MexicoCityBlues
Junior Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 48
The Point of Know Return

0 posted 2004-01-25 02:20 AM



“I wanna be the blood
that runs in your veins.”
         god
for tomorrow
I’d sacrifice today

               hunny,
                   focus on the breath
     breathe
                 breathe
                             breathe
                                         breathe
      the breathing is redemption
                      lucid minds,
                         I’m trying…

Where is
    the
American Night?

lost in a fog
  so deep

she’s here
she’s here
but she’s there
come here
(fog horn)

tranquil minds
locked together
      turmoil is the key
      to unlock true love

seems like years, old friend

dreams

we walked steadily.
sun ablaze
but ice burns these
roads today
dead trees
seems about right
mind is at game
“can’t find me today!”
hands aclasped
we drink a coffee
dead to the outside
dead on the inside
she’s here
she’s within my grasp
but she’s miles away
for once

images appear slanted
out of proportion
walls are caving in…

no one speaks

(what’d a pencil ever do for me
I don’t want to be erased…)

MOTHER OF GOD
PLEASE
HELP ME

the breathing is redemption
            I’m trying

Eternity is too long.

"The story of life is quicker than the wink of an eye. The story of love is Hello and Goodbye. Until we meet again..." -Jimi Hendrix

© Copyright 2004 Carson - All Rights Reserved
muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
1 posted 2004-01-25 01:02 PM


what is this i just experienced? WOW IM BREATHLESS...
you got a style i like...
awesome way to lead the reader to feel what you need them too...

this is really really fantastic...


Michelle_loves_Mike
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2004-01-25 02:28 PM


When I read your work,,,I find it hard to express how I feel,,,,,do deep, lots of passion,,,,best I can say,,is that I do enjoy the works you share
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

lovejunkie
Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 93
Indiana
3 posted 2004-01-25 03:00 PM


“I wanna be the blood
that runs in your veins.”
         god
for tomorrow
I’d sacrifice today

^---great stanza. the first part overshadows the rest if you ask me. still good stuff.

"All you need is love..." -The Beatles

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2004-01-25 04:17 PM


Nice...James
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2004-01-25 05:07 PM




(big angel hugs) Yay! This is wonderful, sweet friend, you have such a strong way of expessing yourself! (smiles) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Carson, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

6 posted 2004-01-26 09:21 PM


interesting read.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #31 » Breathe

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary