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Open Poetry #31
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2004-01-24 07:05 PM


I see her stand in ecstacy
eyes closed swaying-sing!
The Bible now an offering
of proof that she is saved.
Hug the neighbor to the left
initiate of One True Way
cluck of tongue
and nod of head
"ain't it just the truth?"

she bleeds

from her palms
and on her feet
stigmata
in her glory dreams
friends and family are amazed
dropping worshipful to knees
wanting just to touch the hem
of her Sunday dress...
gimme-gimme-what-you-got
A Times Square audience
attests
"surely she's the favored child"
murmered confirmation--"blessed"--
as enemies concede regret
begging for forgiveness now
from her magnifigence...

she smiles

she whispers to attendants, low:
"Bring to me their heads--
on a silver platter please,
make sure all the others know
what can happen to the dross
I want examples, all to see--
the path to God is in my keep.
I am the keeper of the keys--
I am that I am" claimed she.

"By the grace of God of course,"
disclaimed oh-so-hastily
by codicil of policy
a matter of convenience...
served up Sundays with the brunch
of the bread and wine.

she prays

searching her hands for a sign
a miracle within the lines
crosses intersperse the hand
a pentagram
and satan's grip
"omens" chant the charlatan,
and not one drop of martyred blood.

"pour another offering"
a lubricant for suffering
the commons of humanity--
prayers first that she might see,
then a plea for blind reprieve,
promise-promise anything--
even lies will do.

she laughs,

pours herself another glass
thinking, "I am saved."

© Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
1 posted 2004-01-24 07:10 PM


WOW
im speachless
wow wow
this is strong,intense, and fits right in the spots i like....

wow

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
2 posted 2004-01-24 07:13 PM


What to say to that? I guess if you are going to save me, save me with wine!

Jason

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

3 posted 2004-01-24 07:16 PM


Whew!  What just flew over my head?   This was incredibly thought provoking!!!  I will remember this one for a long time, Serenity
Blaze.  em... wow...what to say?

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2004-01-24 07:27 PM


my god Karen... you're an absolute legend.

Have I told you lately how gorgeous you are?

God I love your work. IWICWLU.

M

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2004-01-24 07:31 PM


WOW

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2004-01-24 08:04 PM




(smiles) Yay! Oh my gosh, some of my Catholic church-going friends would just love this, sweet friend, the image of such a special young woman or girl standing up there in her Sunday dress singing the kyrie is always such a glorious sight! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
7 posted 2004-01-24 08:30 PM


Wow!
Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
8 posted 2004-01-24 08:34 PM


Extremely powerful writing here. I enjoyed it greatly.
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
9 posted 2004-01-24 08:57 PM


Now that was certainly looking underneath Sunday Best at its very best.

A Times Square audience
attests
"surely she's the favored child"
murmered confirmation--"blessed"--
as enemies concede regret
begging for forgiveness now
from her magnifigence...

she smiles


This you nailed to perfection Serene One,

"pour another offering"
a lubricant for suffering
the commons of humanity--
prayers first that she might see,
then a plea for blind reprieve,
promise-promise anything--
even lies will do.

she laughs,

pours herself another glass


I do believe that is definitely the fuel that fires the hell within that Sunday's child.

You inspire me, teach me, bless me, and still every day you show me a new side of you that truly confirms you are indeed one blessed with that pen!

Awesome,
    and Blessed Be!


vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
10 posted 2004-01-25 02:35 AM



Karen?... I think you just gave birth with this one... smile...

just...wow... you amaze me, lady...

Love this and love YOU...

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2004-01-25 07:01 AM



Smiling with you.  What Vicky said...you birthed this one.  Instead of asking for the multitudes heads, however, I think I would ask for their wallets...somehow, I think they'd feel the seat of the problem a little better if you'd remove some of the fat.

Y'know?

Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

12 posted 2004-01-25 12:53 PM


you do have a way with words, just sitting in the background experiencing from afar.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2004-01-25 01:11 PM


I've always said that "wow" was my favorite reply to receive--because it's exactly the reaction I hope for.

Thank you all for the replies--it felt good to write again after wrestling with a pretty bad bout of writer's block.



(and gawd, yes, I love this place)


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2004-01-25 01:19 PM


Wow!!!!!


suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2004-01-26 02:39 PM


Wow. *G*

Now you know I'm not going to be that succinct! LOL So....

Yowser! You sucked me right into this one so that I wasn't just reading... I was feeling it. Excellent write!

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

16 posted 2004-01-26 03:24 PM


I echo, "wow!"  powerful, indicting, poignant, edgy, dark, thought-provoking...take your pick...all of the above, I think.

my favorite phrase in a oh so haunting write:
"lubricant for suffering"

awesome...in its original meaning (not the flippant use of modern speakers)

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2004-01-26 03:31 PM


Oh good lord...

I can't say "Wow" now!!!

dang it..

How about, "Oh my gosh!!"

lol love ya lady!

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
18 posted 2004-01-26 03:41 PM



...WOW...

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
19 posted 2004-01-26 04:48 PM


You know I had to come and see this
finished *smile*

"ain't it just the truth?"

she bleeds

from her palms


this transition alone speaks volumes K

and here:

begging for forgiveness now
from her magnifigence...

she smiles

she whispers to attendants, low:
"Bring to me their heads--


and here:

served up Sundays with the brunch
of the bread and wine.

she prays

searching her hands for a sign
a miracle within the lines
crosses intersperse the hand


Your transitions alone tell the entire story here Karen and you have managed to
show her pain, her confusion, her plea and their similarities.

This is something I wish I had written.
It's astounding.


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