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Passions in Poetry

This is Beautiful.

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patience_iago
Member
since 08-30-2006
[First Post] 54


0 posted 08-30-2006 11:32 PM       View Profile for patience_iago   Email patience_iago   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for patience_iago


With my arms sprawled out, I accept the thunder beneath my body and above the clouds. You are aside me and you are breathing. You see what I see, and I am confident that you feel what I am feeling. A soft melody repeats in my head and I smile as more thunder strikes. Wind graces our presence and opens our eyes to all that is gray. I see my mind split in two. I see the sky split in two. We are all that exists.

Tonight the world is ending, and it will end beautifully

"There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction"
-Dali

© Copyright 2006 patience_iago - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


1 posted 08-31-2006 12:44 AM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Hi patience_iago(cool name btw),

Awesome first post! I loved this poem, the comparison to the weather was very good. The ending also was mind boggling for me, not what I was expecting but wonderfully written.

BTW- WElcome to piptalk! I hope your enjoying the site as much as I know I have.

I can't wait to read more of your stuff and I hope you will post something soon. Thanks for sharing this with us

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 02-26-2006
Posts 590
USA


2 posted 09-01-2006 12:25 AM       View Profile for the_girl_next_door   Email the_girl_next_door   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_girl_next_door

WOW! that's all I can and that I agree with stargal.. great job.. this had such imagery..

~heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 03-21-2004
Posts 3212
The World of Poetry


3 posted 09-01-2006 08:57 PM       View Profile for *Alli4000*   Email *Alli4000*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *Alli4000*

Welcome to Pip! I must say I really enjoyed this and hope to read more of your work soon.

~Alli~
mgoodman1989
Member
since 03-05-2006
Posts 93
Iowa, USA


4 posted 09-03-2006 12:53 PM       View Profile for mgoodman1989   Email mgoodman1989   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mgoodman1989

Hey, Welcome to pip, great first write.... if you post more, i'll dance for you LMAO



much love,
Michelle

*I love him oh yes I do, he's for me and not for you, and if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face!*

patience_iago
Member
since 08-30-2006
Posts 54


5 posted 09-03-2006 08:45 PM       View Profile for patience_iago   Email patience_iago   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for patience_iago

Thank you, everyone.

"There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction"
-Dali

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 02-26-2006
Posts 590
USA


6 posted 11-08-2006 10:24 PM       View Profile for the_girl_next_door   Email the_girl_next_door   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_girl_next_door

Wow.. this was amazing.. I loved this. I also liked how you compared it to the weather. The last line was my favorite..

~heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

 
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