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Teen Poetry #7

sitting on a swing...

gozaggss
Junior Member

since 2006-04-26

Posts 33

0 posted 2006-08-30 10:44 PM

There’s something therapeutic about sitting on a swing
Something magically happy, that makes me want to sing
Because in that seat you’re a kid once more
Toys and laughs. Lisper socks on hardwood floor
These kids don’t care about bills or taxes
No need for vacation. Never seen a kid who relaxes
I wish I was a kid again, free without a care
But the truth of it all just surely isn’t fair
There are no time machines or elixir of youth
Just lies and smokescreens, to mask the vile truth
Life isn’t fun and games, learn to know this
It’s just one long fall. A void, stark abyss
And just before you feel the sharp needle sting
You think back. How nice it would be to sit upon a swing

patience_iago
Member

since 2006-08-30

Posts 54

1 posted 2006-08-30 11:33 PM

I really like the story behind this, the feeling, the theme, its really amazing.

"There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction"
-Dali

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2006-09-03 07:58 PM

Yep, sitting on a swing really does take away all your worries and cares doesn't it? I know for me, whenever I'm swinging on a swing (no matter how old I get) it's just so much fun and makes me feel like a kid again.
Enjoyed this poem by you! Post more soon.

~Alli~

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

3 posted 2006-11-08 10:19 PM

This was really good. The last line made this poem sound very mature and well rounded.. it made it almost like something I would read in my literature book.. wonderful job.. I have this feeling too when i sit on the swing, now that i think about it. Great job! hope to hear more

~heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

4 posted 2006-11-12 01:37 PM

MAn this was excellent. I bet everybody on this site wishes that they could be a kid again. I know I would. I hope to see more from you in the fututre thanx for sharing with us.

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