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Passions in Poetry

Im Sorry

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Tempest
Member
since 04-28-2006
Posts 246
dont eat paint chips!!!!


0 posted 08-23-2006 04:55 PM       View Profile for Tempest   Email Tempest   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Tempest

Ivr been falling to be
Everthing you wanted from me
Everything you wnated to see
And everything you need
But im sorry
If everthings not perfect
And im sorry
If im not who you want me to be
Im always wrong and never write
I dont know why we always fight
but its always the same
We always have each other to blame

You complain that i waited to long
Im sorry
If i forgot
You could do no wrong
And im sorry
That i couldnt be
All you wanted from me
But im only who i am
That cant change
And i dont give a damn
About you


© Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved
nostalgic*pride
Member
since 08-23-2006
Posts 121
NowhereVille


1 posted 08-23-2006 06:11 PM       View Profile for nostalgic*pride   Email nostalgic*pride   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nostalgic*pride

This is REALLY good. I like the gentle sarcasm... Very nice peice of work.
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


2 posted 08-23-2006 06:13 PM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

wow a big shock at the end. at first it seemed like you weere trying to win them back almost.  then towards the end you said

And im sorry
That i couldnt be
All you wanted from me
But im only who i am
That cant change
And i dont give a damn
About you

i loved that part.  it was a nice surprise from how i thought you'd end the poem.  this was good. nice write.

but in the middle i almost feel that you could do more with this. i like the ending. but the first bit is almost stiff? i dunno. wut do i  know seriously? just wut i thought.

hope my comments helped.

Rhia

Mandy07
New Member
since 07-20-2006
Posts 4


3 posted 08-24-2006 04:22 PM       View Profile for Mandy07   Email Mandy07   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Mandy07

I am sorry that you fell and made a fool out of yourself in front of everyone and I am also sorry that you cant spell to save your life but other than that good job there buddy
mgoodman1989
Member
since 03-05-2006
Posts 93
Iowa, USA


4 posted 08-24-2006 06:41 PM       View Profile for mgoodman1989   Email mgoodman1989   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mgoodman1989

Great Write Tempest. One of my favorites by you.

Mandy07, just a question... who are you to criticize someone else?
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


5 posted 08-24-2006 10:57 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

i liked this poem although not one of my favorites by you i still liked it good post hope to see more form you...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

Tempest
Member
since 04-28-2006
Posts 246
dont eat paint chips!!!!


6 posted 08-25-2006 05:17 PM       View Profile for Tempest   Email Tempest   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tempest

thanks guys,this poem really was a doozy on the rhyming part though. like putting it all together in my head....any ways thats not important.
                             ~Tempest~
surf_painter
Member
since 04-10-2007
Posts 434
Canada


7 posted 04-10-2007 08:54 PM       View Profile for surf_painter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for surf_painter

i know alot of my posts are late but wow i liked this one too it was very catchy if i am putting the words right its very hard to explain the words that come to mind when i read your poem it is just so good
~XxMz.NerdyRockstarxX~
Junior Member
since 01-14-2011
Posts 15
Alabama, United States


8 posted 01-14-2011 08:28 PM       View Profile for ~XxMz.NerdyRockstarxX~   Email ~XxMz.NerdyRockstarxX~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~XxMz.NerdyRockstarxX~

Wow that was amazing...im so loving you right now you are an amazing writer

~XxExpect Nothing N You'll Never Get HurtxX~

 
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