Now ya did it! 7 years of bad luck for breaking a mirror
I liked this one, it's different from what I've seen you write before, but I found that I liked it a lot.
The only thing I would mention is that the flow kind of gets lost in the last half of the poem, at least to my thinking. It's like when you start the ending two lines of the forth stanza onward it seems a little stiff, no offence.
"You look up
And see your own face
That once happy look
Is twisted and misplaced"
I loved this stanza though! It's something I can see in my minds eye. Brilliant descriptions of everything in this poem.
Great job and thanks for sharing!
"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."