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Teen Poetry #7
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tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2006-08-20 02:00 PM


I’m trying to get over you…trying to get over your touch,
Trying to get over everything that always meant so much.

I’m trying to forget you… It’s easier than to remember,
Cause then I have to think of you, and who knows all that hinders.

I’m trying to make myself see that we can’t ever be that way,
You may come back but I have to know exactly what I will say.

I’ve tried so many times and I’m down left and scattered,
It’d be so easy to go on pretending that it all never mattered.

But it did matter, even when so many things went wrong,
That’s why I have to tough it up and learn how to be strong.

Your words and your smile have had me hypnotized,
So much that I ignored all the signs, I ignored all the lies.

You’ll never understand what all I feel for you,
And that’s the reason why I know what I have to do.

You have to see what you’re missing, see what you could’ve had,
You have to see what I’m worth, and how you gave it up for the next teenage fad.

Don’t take your regrets and your broken wishes out on me,
Just because I showed you what you lost through all that I can be.

-Erin


myspace username-beautiful_tragidy
I just want to find my way back to you...where love is strong and feels brand new.

© Copyright 2006 Erin - All Rights Reserved
cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

1 posted 2006-08-20 03:09 PM


I actually like this one from you. Uoi did a great job on this. I hope to see more from you in the future.
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
2 posted 2006-08-21 07:53 AM


this is really good, i thought it flowed really well to .
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-08-21 09:26 PM


"Your words and your smile have had me hypnotized,
So much that I ignored all the signs, I ignored all the lies."


Been there done that^^ I loved those few lines because I can relate so well to them. In fact I loved the whole poem and it would be hard to choose, except, that these lines seemed to really stand out to me.

I also liked the flow. It seemed to just move right, like you said one word and the next just kind of rolled off your tongue. It was a very lovely sensation.

Thanks for sharing!

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
4 posted 2006-08-21 11:16 PM


I think that some spot of the rhyming scheme are off count by a *hair* but other than that I loved this..

You always amaze me..

believe it or not.. I'm going through this.. right at this very moment.. it's very fustrating and difficult.. you wanna stay with them bc of all the good things but you covered up all the lies and bad things (like in denial) bc you didn't want to face reality and do what you knew was right. .. great job..

hope to hear more soon

~heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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