Untill Your Life Is Done - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-08-19 08:44 PM

Stand in the shadows
And let others rule your life
You never make a move
You never speak your mind

I cant tell you how to live your life
But I can offer a helping hand
Can you see it in front of you
I will help you stand

I cant make you step out fron the shadows
But i can see your lost and cold
I know you've never had anyone care
So you just get more stoned

But is this the life you want
Do you like what you've become
Never knowing what your worth
Untill your life is done

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

1 posted 2006-08-19 09:47 PM

I really like this part, the last part:

But is this the life you want
Do you like what you've become
Never knowing what your worth
Untill your life is done

It kindda remind me of my friend that turned to suicide. But he never got to live his life the way he wanted. He was alway7s trapped in himself. So I thank you for sharing and i hope to see more from you in the futrure.

~Two lefts don't make a right, But three do~
Relient K

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

2 posted 2006-08-20 02:21 PM

"But is this the life you want
Do you like what you've become
Never knowing what your worth
Untill your life is done"

My favorite part. I loved your rhyming in this and the point you got a cross. The last stanza was def. my favorite :] keep it up

myspace username-beautiful_tragidy
I just want to find my way back to you...where love is strong and feels brand new.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-08-20 06:41 PM

"I cant tell you how to live your life
But I can offer a helping hand
Can you see it in front of you
I will help you stand"

One of my favorite parts^^

For me this poem is really sad to read. I've known people like this, all over the world, it doesn't change. You have one person like this in SF or one person like this in China, it's a non-stop horror to see. Wow... I'm just chattering on, this is not what I meant to talk about. lol

What I meant to say is I felt you did a wonderful job with this poem. I like how you kind on incorporate an "uplifting" side to your poems. You always have such good things to say in them...

Thanks for sharing, I know my comment doesn't make much sense and I'm sorry for that...

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
@-->---

mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

4 posted 2006-08-20 07:14 PM

Tempest,

I find myself risking being just like everyone else. I LOVE the last stanza. The whole thing was really good, but the last stanza has a strong meaning to me. I guess, I can relate?

Keep writing, I love your poetry.

Much love,

Michelle

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

5 posted 2006-08-23 01:54 AM

wow i really liked this poem.... beautiful

hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.