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Passions in Poetry

Your love is...

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hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


0 posted 08-19-2006 05:55 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for hunnie_girl

your love is like a needle peircing my heart,
just like a knife it rips it apart,
again it goes through in and out,
it's killing me slowly without a doubt,

my mind tells me it's enough,
it's not worth it, being this tough,
but my heart makes me stay,
and i sit in misery each day,

your love is like a gun to my head,
just one shot and i'd be dead,
again it's held waiting,
the barrel still rotating,

i'm sliding into the void of despair,
even if you knew you wouldn't care
i'm trying to block it out like everyone tries,
so i'll pretend to be fine and wipe my eyes,

again it's held wating,
but the barrel stopped rotating,
again it went through in and out,
he's killed me slowly without a doubt.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

© Copyright 2006 Krysti - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 02-26-2006
Posts 590
USA


1 posted 08-19-2006 08:49 PM       View Profile for the_girl_next_door   Email the_girl_next_door   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_girl_next_door

I really like the 'without a doubt' part.. great job..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

broken_smile1469
Member
since 07-02-2006
Posts 104


2 posted 08-20-2006 01:49 AM       View Profile for broken_smile1469   Email broken_smile1469   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for broken_smile1469

i really liked this one. Great Write!
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


3 posted 08-20-2006 10:06 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

"your love is like a gun to my head,
just one shot and i'd be dead,
again it's held waiting,
the barrel still rotating"


My favorite part^^ That is if I had to choose a favorite part. The whole poem is wonderful. It's just that this part really sticks out to me because I've never thought of love in this way. It's different, yet, I like the comparison.

I loved this poem. It is one of my favorites that you have written.

Thanks for sharing!

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

 
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