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Passions in Poetry

acceptance

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rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


0 posted 08-19-2006 07:36 AM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for rhia_5779

to teach yourself and to learn to forgive
lets the other have a chance to really live

to push it away and to try and forget
proves you are too scared, still yet

Why? I will ask.
remember the past

to hold a grudge
pointless, be done

way past time to stop living in the past
or  else the present will go by all too fast
time to accept the future
of that I am very sure

[This message has been edited by rhia_5779 (08-19-2006 12:04 PM).]

© Copyright 2006 rhia_5779 - All Rights Reserved
cherrys_rule
Member
since 03-18-2006
Posts 446


1 posted 08-19-2006 08:11 AM       View Profile for cherrys_rule   Email cherrys_rule   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cherrys_rule

I'm not sure if you are done here, but other than that I thought it flowed really good. I hope to see more from you.
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


2 posted 08-19-2006 12:03 PM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

yep it was done
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


3 posted 08-21-2006 09:34 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Hi Rhia,

Thought I'd ask you about a few things...

"to teach yourself and to learn to forgive
Lets the other have a chance to really live"


Is this supposed to be "let (no S) the other (S) have a chance to really live? Because when I read it the way that it is it's a little confusing.

"to push it away and to try and forget
proves you are too scared, still yet"


Could you explain what the "still yet" means? I'm not sure I understood that...

I liked the general idea of the poem, to let grudges go and not be selfish. I think it's a marvelous lesson for all of us to learn. I thank you for the reminder that is what I need to be doing^^

Plus, I think you should add on. I think you could make this longer without being horrible, just a thought though...

Thanks for sharing/listening  


"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


4 posted 08-22-2006 10:12 AM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

still yet, kinda like you havent learned how to not b scared i think. and yes it is sopposed to have an s
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