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Passions in Poetry

Life + Stress = One Giant Mess

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cherrys_rule
Member
since 03-18-2006
Posts 446


0 posted 08-18-2006 05:10 PM       View Profile for cherrys_rule   Email cherrys_rule   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for cherrys_rule


So it came to this
Just me and my fist
What's up with this world that I live in?
Why does everythhing have to go?
Why can't things just flow?
I don't undersatand anything at all.
Your answer is always "oh lets just go to the mall"
I don't spend my money when I'm in stress.
I just like to sit in my big giant mess.
I cry and cry,
But time doesn't pass by.
So what am I supposed to do,
when my life isn't even true?
© Copyright 2006 cherrys_rule - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


1 posted 08-19-2006 07:25 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Hi cherrys_rule,

Interesting poem! My favorite parts would be the last two ending lines, the title, and the part where it talks about all you are left with is your fist.

Very good job, it's not what I was expecting at all! but I found it to be a pleasurable read and I thank you for sharing it

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

cherrys_rule
Member
since 03-18-2006
Posts 446


2 posted 08-19-2006 09:37 PM       View Profile for cherrys_rule   Email cherrys_rule   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cherrys_rule

thanks stargal. That day was very stressing so I just had to calm myself down and just write a few of my words. and I came out with this. I enjoy you enjoying reading my poems and commenting.
tapper798
Member
since 07-20-2003
Posts 352
My own world


3 posted 08-20-2006 02:14 PM       View Profile for tapper798   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for tapper798

I'd have to say my favorite part of this poem was the title :] the poem itself was good, I'll be honest, the ending wasn't my favorite for some reason but your rhyming was very well done! Keep it up, hope to see more from you!

myspace username-beautiful_tragidy
I just want to find my way back to you...where love is strong and feels brand new.

cherrys_rule
Member
since 03-18-2006
Posts 446


4 posted 08-20-2006 04:49 PM       View Profile for cherrys_rule   Email cherrys_rule   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cherrys_rule

well thank you very much, I thought the title was very clever. Yeah I have to agree with you that I didn't really like the ending either.
STOP_JUDGiiN_M3
Junior Member
since 02-07-2007
Posts 18


5 posted 02-07-2007 08:04 PM       View Profile for STOP_JUDGiiN_M3   Email STOP_JUDGiiN_M3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for STOP_JUDGiiN_M3

OH WOW...SINCE THE OPENING STANZA YOU HAD WE HOOKED. IT WAS SO DIFFERENT!! I LIKED IT!! I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR MORE OF YOUR POETRY!! JUST KNO YOUR NOT ALONE, CAUSE I FEEL LIKE THIS AT TIMES TO!

FTR...ALLDAii!!

Kateyshine911
New Member
since 11-20-2008
Posts 4


6 posted 11-23-2008 05:26 PM       View Profile for Kateyshine911   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Kateyshine911



Hi cherrys_rule (nice name, lol)
i tottaly understand what you mean.
hope things turn around for you!!!
 
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