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Teen Poetry #7
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Please.....Remember
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Please.....Remember |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
this is long sorry.i kind of understand this poem i kinda don't . its not like relevance to me now. but i dunno. When I'm gone please Don't go on and on When I fall please a few simple words say it all Remember, Me Don't cover up,how mean I could be be blunt,true don't say you always knew what was to be my fate Tell the truth,without all your hate after my spirit departs tell each other whats in your heart Don't cry please teach each of you,how to believe For me,smile teach a ay out of denial accept I'm not there Even gone,I'll always care but please don't ever forget even when you grow up,know what I meant to you if anything,or if my stuff was or loot understand good and bad If it hurts you,rmember to heal,you need to be sad all I want is for you to remember me in days to come,even when I don't start school with you in september Please, don't be sorry ever about any of this,the greatest gift you could give,is to remember |
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| © Copyright 2006 rhia_5779 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
The poem was incredible, but maybe you should use couplets instead of putting the one word by itself. It threw me off the flow a little bit. I cant say anything else about it, it was great. ~Tempest~ |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104 |
i really liked this poem great job! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey rhia, I kind of agree with tempest!~ The one word DOES throw the flow off, to me, I think it would be better just to keep it in two lines... but, idk, it's not like it's vital that you do. "When I'm gone please Don't go on and on When I fall please a few simple words say it all"" This must be my favorite part in the whole poem^^ Cause it's true, a few words say it all... I thought that this was an interesting subject for a poem and for some it would be hard for them to write about. Yet, I think that you did a great job in writing this... Thanks for sharing!  "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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