navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Pain
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Pain Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442


0 posted 2006-08-15 08:57 PM


I just wrote this one in class, so be very gentle.
It's about a friend that had some rough times when she was in a relationship.

You walk as if your body does not ache in pain.
You talk as if yesturday was just another day.
What is this game you play?
You know you got hurt,
but you should've known he was a big flirt.
I should've told you,
that everything he said to you wasn't true.
He might of used and abused you,
I'm sorry what you had went through.
You should've told the cops,
I'm sure they would of done something.
Then again you should pray he wouldn't do anything.
( To hurt you.)
I hope you find out what you have to do.
I just want you to know, I'm truly sorry what you went through.
But I want you to know, I will always love you.

[This message has been edited by cherrys_rule (08-16-2006 06:52 PM).]

© Copyright 2006 cherrys_rule - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
1 posted 2006-08-16 05:02 AM


i think its sweet, but i dont feel the same emotion i can get from your other poems.

it was really sweet though.

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-08-17 01:14 PM


I think that this is a very sweet poem, especially the ending line. Your friend is lucky to have someone like you out there for them...

I also like the msg of regret in this, the "I should've told you", now you will be able to use that to your advantage next time, if there is a next time for the same friend or someone else...

Thanks for sharing!

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

3 posted 2006-08-17 08:03 PM


oh thank you you guys... Yeah me and her are still friends and actually we are really good friends. And she forgives me for everything. so yeah. I'm still good. I'm glad you guys liked it.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Pain

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary