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Teen Poetry #7

hi this is my first poem

THeeUglyTriveONbeauty
New Member

since 2006-08-11

Posts 2

0 posted 2006-08-15 03:42 PM

Thee Ugly Trive on Beauty
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her eyes fixated
a strong deep gaze
into an intense glare.

A dark black room seem to hyponotise as if to be
a bright white light
into the eternal life.

A temptation raper
that are the vigerous extertions,
prevailing to the destiny of ones moment.
A moment that is bound,
bound by the power of fantasies,
it was.

tears of trepidity
come onto creation.
Newborns falling to her breasts
as she condems by a locked door.
Steaming down her nudity,
it soaks her feet so cold.
So cold,
frostbitten to a faultless beauty blue.
she details her self
by the frozen tears
of ice
so lovely,
like crystals.

....Her imagination is beautiful.....

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

1 posted 2006-08-15 06:03 PM

wow..i really loved this.

its a really great poem in saying exactly what you mean, and getting it out in the perfect possible way

if you've dealt with this, i totally understand. i have too, and im sorry if you have.
muchos love and hugs,
-missy

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-08-16 06:22 PM

Hey TheeUglyTriveOnBeauty,

I loved this poem also. Yet, what I really liked is your use of words; no, not words that are long and hard to understand, but the words that add depth to the poem. Sometimes we use such basic english we forget that there are other words to express feelings and such.

BTW- WElcome to piptalk! I'm glad you could join us here. It is always a treat to see new members joining in with their poetry. Thanks for sharing this piece with all of us.

I think you did an excellent job with this poem and I will look forward to reading more of yours in the near future!

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
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