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Teen Poetry #7

I Cant Breathe

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-08-14 04:20 PM

Slow down
I cant breathe
And you know its killing me
To watch you sit
And shake your head
Refusing to admit
To all you said

Save it for the saints
Because they can listen to your stalling
Ive fell too much
And now im done with falling

Slow down
I cant breathe
And you know its killing me
When you act like I dont matter
Just because
You know it makes me madder

I cant breathe
I cant breathe
Too long its hurt me
I cant breathe

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

1 posted 2006-08-14 05:26 PM

I really like this from you. It's really good. I loved it.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2006-08-15 01:05 AM

i agree i really liked this too...
Krysti*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-08-15 09:40 AM

"Slow down
I cant breathe
And you know its killing me
To watch you sit
And shake your head
Refusing to admit
To all you said"

Wow... This stanza was my favorite in the whole poem! The flow, the wording, I enjoyed all of it. I felt like you did a more than excellent job with this poem and I can't wait to see what you come up with next. I think that this is one of my favorites by you; I liked how you compared this to "falling". Awesome job!

Thanks for sharing

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
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