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Teen Poetry #7
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buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain

0 posted 2006-08-05 07:23 PM




i give him so much love,
Yet I get nothing in return,
Unbearable pain inside,
I wish I could stop the burn.

Inside I feel empty,
Except for the painful tears.
What little happiness is left,
Can it last through all my years?

Because he won't be there,
To help me along my way,
So I guess the love I feel,
Keeps me from going astray.

To write about my love,
Is to write about my pain,
Because they go hand in hand,
As I wipe my tears again.

© Copyright 2006 Marisa F - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
1 posted 2006-08-06 06:11 AM


it was very good. could feel the emotions behind it and the flow was really good

rhia

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-08-06 10:58 AM


"To write about my love,
Is to write about my pain"


I liked this part a lot! I think it is because a lot of will write, at some time or other in, about our pain. It's like an addiction to put it down on paper! lolz

The first stanza is my favorite though! It expresses so much in so little. It was a wonderful way to start the poem off.

Great job with this poem and I can't wait to read more by you  


@-->---

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
3 posted 2006-08-07 10:19 PM


I loved this. Great job.. I loved the first two lines of the last stanza the most.. this was wonderful . Keep it up.

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
4 posted 2006-08-09 09:11 PM


i liked this poem good write
Krysti*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
5 posted 2006-08-10 02:11 PM


Because they go hand in hand,
As I wipe my tears again.

just had to write again cuz i missed so much the first time......wow.
Krysti*

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