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Teen Poetry #7
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stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA

0 posted 2006-08-05 02:03 AM


This is so not my usual style of writing, so, if it's horrible be honest about it cause I'm testing(?) new things and I would like to know.  Thanks    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Brain; think upon abhorrent past
I with a crystal glass; raised
With a mocking toast to life; unfair
I boast with pride; my anger at people and life

People; for planting the seed of destruction in one man
With hurting words; feeding, off the fear of painful death
Offering; “sweet” suicide as the way to timeless release
Gun, knife, rope, pipe, it’s all the same, it’ll make you forget your pain…

Life; For stealing my uncle away so soon
Horrid life takes it all; forcing, pushing, raping
Pulling; rhythm, breath, beat, memories, all, into The Sea
The Sea of souls; where life has extracted its ultimate toll; death…

Uncle; didn’t you know we loved you so
Couldn’t you see; 10 years; your death still haunts me
Must I blame; the world for your shameful disgrace
Wretched; am I; hurting, with knowledge, of absolute dread…

People; will hunt me down; in search of the feed
Life; will come for me in time; with an ardor; for the toll
Uncle; constant reminder to me; of a useless tragedy
Life; people; uncle;
                         will,
                                never,
                                        be,
                                             me…



@-->---

© Copyright 2006 stargal - All Rights Reserved
bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533

1 posted 2006-08-05 11:03 AM


woah.
thats really really good.  at least i think it is. It was extremely different form but i love it.  It was really cool how it all came together.  and yeah.  amazing

i really enjoyed this alot
thanks for sharing!

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
2 posted 2006-08-05 06:26 PM


Stargal,

I find this very interesting. I love the way you set it up. You're other poems are good but this blew them out of the water. Awesome poem.


~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533

3 posted 2006-08-06 11:32 PM


boosting...
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
4 posted 2006-08-06 11:40 PM


Eh, thanks for the boost bekah and for the comment(s) and being a friend and being there and listening and … everything? It’s appreciated…

Also thank you Heather I'm glad you liked this poem. I always enjoy seeing what you've got to say about my work...

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

silentmage13
Junior Member
since 2005-11-20
Posts 14
Florida
5 posted 2006-08-28 05:38 PM


More and more, you become one of my favorite poets. This is a great piece.

Hope can only be found inside yourself, never in a person or thing.

The Shadow in Blue
Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493
EL, Michigan
6 posted 2006-09-01 06:52 PM


I like this style for you. It suits you well. One of my favorites of yours. Thanks for sharing your poetry Stargirl.

*tips hat*

^_^

J. Slamka

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
7 posted 2006-09-01 09:45 PM


Agreed. This style does suit you well.  I really enjoyed this one.

~Alli~

mgoodman1989
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93
Iowa, USA
8 posted 2006-09-03 12:34 PM


Magical, LOL this looks great on you! Keep it up, I am anticipating more!!!

Seriously, good Job, I really liked the flow, the wording, and the set up. Different, and refreshing.

Much love,
Michelle

mgoodman1989
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93
Iowa, USA
9 posted 2006-09-04 05:01 PM


Boosting
mgoodman1989
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93
Iowa, USA
10 posted 2006-09-04 05:01 PM


Boosting

*I love him oh yes I do, he's for me and not for you, and if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face!*

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
11 posted 2006-09-04 05:33 PM


LOL! Thanks for the comments everyone, and the boost mgoodman

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

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