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Teen Poetry #7
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synthetic
Member
since 2006-06-10
Posts 70
ontario, canada

0 posted 2006-08-03 10:38 PM


I sit here watching as they enter then leave
No expressions, it’s simply a daily routine
Like druids they aspire to do everything the same
Walk in-left, right-find a seat
Close your eyes to reflect on your acquisition
Your heart pumps from the exhilarating journey you just experienced
There are a few gazers among the rest
Peering from end to end-perhaps searching for a friend
Could they be thinking what I think-there’s a chance… maybe not
Motionless, thoughtless-unaware of the thing beside us
They don’t matter-all you know is they’re invading your space
It ends there-we never question why, for we are like droids
Could that thing be invading your space, for you to invade theirs
To find out their name, to ask them how they are and what they want out of life
But you don’t care
You have a problem answering those for yourself
Who are they to demand anything of you
Ah, but the tides have changed
Who are you to not accept their invitation, to not initiate a conversation
How much would it take out of you
To talk to this stranger: the one that smells like onions
Can’t they just wait until they join their friends
What if they have no friends-you’re their only hope at moral redemption
Realizing this you give them a chance
But what if their last hope becomes a bid farewell
Would you feel guilty knowing that you could of prevented it
Despite this grotesque mental image-I’m sure you won’t change
Don’t take it negatively, I’m not changing either
I suppose that it’s too late for change-let’s teach this to the new born
But I look around-they don’t seem to have any problems
They give people endless amounts of attention-they don’t even need to make a noise
Sit there-look someone in the eye-smile
That’s all they do, that’s all any of us have to do
Just make it a better place for someone


© Copyright 2006 luc - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-08-04 04:16 PM


"I sit here watching as they enter then leave
No expressions, it’s simply a daily routine
Like druids they aspire to do everything the same
Walk in-left, right-find a seat",/I>

This is my favorite part! I think it is because I've seen people like this all the time, not just in subways, but every where you go they are there. You described them so accurately in this poem.  It’s almost creepy how correct you were in your descriptions of people…

I felt that you did an excellent job with this poem, especially with your words. Your words were not hard to comprehend, not long words I didn’t understand, yet, they were complex enough to make the poem interesting. I wish I could master that skill… I guess I'll just have to keep trying.

Thanks for sharing


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