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Teen Poetry #7

ALONE

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

0 posted 2006-08-02 10:37 AM

Icy chills round your heart,
A heart that's made of stone.
It seems like life is out to get you,
to destroy what you want.
I know that you blame me,
for all that you go through.
It could be so different,
If you would just let it go.
If you would change your perspective,
you'd see that it is true.
Life is not always what you want,
Sometimes it's hard to bear.
I'd be with you and help you,
in all that you go through.
I love you Let me change your heart by coming in.

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

1 posted 2006-08-02 12:28 PM

I liked this too. the first part was really good but part of the last line

"let me cahnge ur heart by coming in"

try putting that on a seperate line

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-08-03 12:35 PM

"I know that you blame me,
for all that you go through.
It could be so different,
If you would just let it go."

I like this part because I know someone like this who blames me for wrongs in their life. I feel that if they would just let go of the past things would be better. I liked how you described this though, how you put it into words I can understand.

This was an amazing poem and I thank you for sharing!

@-->---

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

3 posted 2006-08-06 12:16 PM

yeah I wrote this to one of my ex's and if he reads it... he'll know why I wrote this to him. So hopefully he reads it and forgives me for everything.

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